• A small, balding man stormed into a local bar and demanded a double . . .
• Since the Pledge of Allegiance and The Lord's Prayer are not allowed in most public schools anymore . . .
• There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness

• A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean
• Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons . . .
• More things we would love to say at work

• A Stock Market Dictionary for the past year investor
• The perfect breakfast ... you're sitting at the table
• 38,562 men were asked to identify woman's ultimate fantasy.
• Hank finally found the nerve to tell his fiancée that he had to break off their engagement. . .

• The answer to the eternal question "Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?"
• More Things Andy Rooney has learned in his life
• A watermelon farmer was determined to scare off the local kids . . .
• When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class . . .

• In an effort to reduce costs this year, the following are effective immediately
• Things Andy Rooney has learned in his life
• The following is an actual letter that was attached to a 1998 tax return

• Did you ever wonder ... Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
• Jake had been an observant catholic and was in the hospital, near death.
• What do you call three rabbits in a row, hopping backwards simultaneously?
• If their mothers were Jewish:
• Why Women Talk So Much

• What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
• A couple of drinking buddies who are airplane mechanics are in a hangar at JFK New York.
• George W. Bush, Albert Einstein and Pablo Picasso have all died.
• An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old crone

• Rules Of The Air: Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
• A man in Florida, in his 80s, calls his son in New York.
• A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive female neighbor came out.
• More Bush'ism: Continued

• One Sunday, a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money.
• An artist asked if there had been any interest in his paintings.
• More Bush'ism: "It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."
• A climber fell off a cliff, and as he tumbled down, he caught hold of a small branch

• All those who believe in Telekinesis, raise my hand.
• A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood . . .
• A man was walking home alone late one night when he hears a.......
• Little know blond inventions . . .

• A fellow stopped at a rural gas station, filled his tank, and took a break . . .
• Modern Proverbs: If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
• Letterman's Top 10 Drawbacks to Working in a Cubicle
• Dolly, the famous cloned sheep, was up in the highlands of Scotland and fell off one of the cliffs.

• Actual T-shirt Slogans i.e., "Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam." (seen on Cape Cod)
• 5 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
• A rancher was approached by a Native American who said he could read the minds of animals.

• A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation.
• Totally useless facts that someone actually took the time to organize! (part 2)
• Insights for an old sage to live your life by.
• A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look at TV commercials . . .
• On Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield

• Totally useless facts that someone actually took the time to organize! (part 1)
• In a train carriage there was Bill Clinton, George Bush, a spectacular looking blonde and a frightfully awful looking fat lady.
• Money...It can buy a house . . . . . but not a home.
• Comprehending Engineers - Take One (4/10)

• When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh.

• A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a mall.
• On a plane bound for New York a flight attendant approached a blonde
• More ' George Carlinisms' Part 2
• A Marine colonel on his way home from work at the Pentagon

• You are 100% Texan if....
• More ' George Carlinisms'
• Two guys trying to get in a quick eighteen holes . . .
• Many are aware that in the Peoples Republic of China couples are only allowed to have two children.

• The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house
• If we could only thinks like kids again . . .
• Even More things only Martha Stewart would know..
• Sophie and Shirley, two elderly widows in a Florida adult community . . .

• Humorous insights on what makes a really good teacher.
• A blonde was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child . . .
• More things only Martha Stewart would know..
• Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show?

• Literal translations of some of George W. Bush's more popular Texas colloquialisms . . 
• Things only Martha Stewart would know..
• A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates.
• A blonde walks up to a coke machine, puts a dollar in, presses the button.
• A person fell ill in a restaurant and people called out, "Is there a doctor in the house?"

Display full list of Jokes added in March 2001