> Additions in March, 2001
List of Prior Months Additions
Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older . . .
Quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers:
The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings.
Bill Clinton was walking along the beach when he stumbled upon a Genie's lamp.
I was in Shab Row on Friday and the Clintons were there, looking for antiques again.
An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates.
"Doc," says Morris, "I want to be castrated."
The Democrat's Anthem
After his day's sightseeing, an American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant.
An Irishman moved into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry. He walks into the local pub, orders three pints of Guinness . . .
A Farmer was married to his nagging wife who made his life miserable.
Games for When We Are Older.
Riding high on the success of such books as "You're My Mare Not My Mother"
A lady from California purchased a piece of timber land in Oregon.
Political Philosophies Explained in Simple "Two Cow" Terms
Two kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room.
Woman's Wine Quote:
An interview between a female broadcaster of NPR and General Reinwald
A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are in a breast stroke race...
You know that all potatoes have eyes...
A blonde woman was driving her car home one night . . .
You might be an engineer if . . .
SAY IT WITH ME: I won't see a cool pop up screen if I don't forward this.
Ronald Reagan was very ill and it appeared that he might not pull through.
A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse.
An attractive blond from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas
More eyewitness Idiot accounts.
Read each line aloud Dr. Seuss' lost tongue twisters . . .
Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't
A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.
Two blondes were talking and one couldn't help but notice how pretty and beautiful the other's skin was.
God's Children by Bill Cosby . . .
Out of the mouths of children . . .
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist . . .
A blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she cut and dyed her air.
Engineer one liners . . .
Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering who to invade next . . .
Long ago, there lived a British sailor named Captain Bravo.
Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, the other is four.
A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road.
Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older
The New York City school board has officially declared Jewish English as a second language.
Top Ten Times In History when using the "F" word was appropriate.
A man was taking it easy, laying on the grass and looking up at the clouds.
One bee asks other: "Where can I get something to eat around here?"
For many decades there were numerous proverbs in our language . . .
Things To Ponder for 2001
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.
A man was in a terrible accident and his "manhood" was mangled . . .
Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the State Fair every year . . .
A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa.
Even More sentences that actually appeared in a church bulletins . . .
This was written by an 83 year old woman to her friend.
Who said a Redneck isnít bright?
Dog Property Laws . . . If I like it, its' mine.
More sentences that actually appeared in a church bulletins . . .
Jake, the rancher, went one day to fix a distant fence.
A guy gets a new dog and can't wait to show him off to his neighbor.
Sentences that actually appeared in a church bulletins . . .
The World's Thinnest Books . . .
A couple of old guys were golfing . . .
A Newlywed's Diary: Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home
A middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday.
A lovely young Jewish girl was employed by a clothing firm in New York.
On a recent CNN broadcast George W. was shown leaving 'Marine One' Helicopter.
More proof that the Human DNA pool is getting shallow
An Irishman, an Italian, and a Polish guy are in a bar.
An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder
Didíja Hear 'Bout The Blonde That Couldn't water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope
An elderly carpenter was ready to retire.
It was a sweltering August day when the Cohen brothers entered the posh offices of Henry Ford.
A officer stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit.
An 80 year old man went to Hollywood to pick up a prostitute and get some action.
Great Predictions by Experts (of their day) part 3
An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo.
A dad walks into a market followed by his ten-year-old son.
A frog goes into this bank and hops up to the loan officer's desk.
A very devout nun dies and goes to heaven . . .
Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate.
Great Predictions by Experts (of their day) part 2
Once upon a time there lived a king
Talk about confidence! (photo)
A 105 year old pious man suddenly stopped going to synagogue.
Straight from the Virginia State Police, Insurance Fraud Division
The Minnesotan's Guide to Computer Technology
Great Predictions by Experts (of their day)
The Clintons Leaving the White House
Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter.
To women everywhere from a man who's had enough . . .
Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are.
President George Bush visited an elementary school . . .
A Polish farmer staked a strong claim to being Europe's most macho man by cutting off his own head.
Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
More life's insights for the famous and not so famous.
Things to do to drive your roommate crazy
A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record . . .
Display Jokes added in February 2001