• You hear "Luke, I am your father... and your uncle..."
• You ever said the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
• Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
• You have ever used your light sabre to open a bottle of Bud Light.
• At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer coloured.
• You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
• You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.
• The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
• Wookiees are offended by your B.O.
• You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
• You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.
• You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defence electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light up.
• You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.
• You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
• You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.
• You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
• You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.
• You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.
• Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."

Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

Take new pill from foil wrapper, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Pull spouse from garden.

Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growl emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat’s head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cats throat vigorously.

Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrapper. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse’s armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw; force cat’s mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw

Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply bandage to spouses forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door on to neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence whilst swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat’s mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour pint of water down throat to wash pill down.

Get spouse to drive you to hospital; sit quietly while doctor stitches finger and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.

Arrange for SPCA to collect cat.