Humor Additions for July 21st, 2004

    My Little Sister's Jokes > Recent Addition List

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Corporal Jones was assigned to the induction center ...

where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Corporal Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones' sales pitch.

Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said: "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $250,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6,000.

Now," he concluded, "which group do you think they are going to send into battle first?"

Submitted by Bill, Narberth, Pa.

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A young honeymoon couple were touring southern Florida ...

... and happened to stop at one of the rattlesnake farms along the road. After seeing the sights, they engaged in small talk with the man that handled the snakes.

"Gosh!" exclaimed the new bride. "You certainly have a dangerous job. Don't you ever get bitten by the snakes?"

"Yes, on rare occasions," answered the handler.

"Well," she continued, "just what do you do when you're bitten by a snake?"

"I always carry a razor-sharp knife in my pocket, and as soon as I am bitten, I make deep criss-cross marks across the fang entry and then suck the poison from the wound."

"What, uh...what would happen if you were to accidentally sit on a rattler?" persisted the woman.

"Ma'am," answered the snake handler, "that will be the day I learn who my real friends are."

Submitted by Don, Hagerstown, Md.

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The high school coaches in Terrebone Parish, Louisiana went to a coaches' retreat.

To save money they had to room together. No one wanted to room with Coach Boudreaux because he snores so bad. They decide it's not fair to make one of dem stay wit him the whole time so they vote to take turns. `Coach Fontenot sleeps wit him and he come to breakfast next morning hair a mess, eyes all bloodshot. They say, "Man, what happen to you?"

He say, "Man, that Boudreaux snore so loud, I watch him all night." `Next night coach Guidry's turn. In the morning, same thing -- hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. They say, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He say, "Man, no, that Boudreaux shake the roof. I watched him all night."

Third night, coach Breaux turn. Next morning he come to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed.

"Good morning you all." They can't believe!

They say, "Man, what happened?" He say, "Well, we get ready for bed. I go and tuck Boudreaux into bed and kiss him good night. He watch me all night long.'

Submitted by Dave, Bolder Co.

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Things you don't see very often, take 3 ...

July 19th Humor Page