• A bishop discovered a tribe of Indians who had never recorded a baptism ... (11/3)
• A news conference was held to inform the people of Florida of new state symbols ... (10/4)
• A man was driving through Wyoming one spring evening ... (9/15)
• Corporal Jones was assigned to the induction center ... (7/21)
• A young honeymoon couple were touring southern Florida ... (7/21)
• A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation ... (6/25)
• An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of Church services ... (3/12)
• A guy goes to see his doctor to get his test results. (3/10)
• A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. (3/5)
• Snappy Answer of the Year ... A truck driver was driving along on the freeway ... (3/1)
• A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has embezzled ten million bucks (2/23)
• A very proper lady was planning a camping vacation for her Baptist Church group ... (2/11)
• It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new chief ... (2/6)
• Martian Air Force Denies UFO Crash (1/19)
• Random thoughts on Exercising ... (1/9)

2003

• Ole was stopped by a Wisconsin game warden leaving a lake well known for its Walleye. (12/19)
• The church gossip and self-appointed arbiter of the church's morals ... (12/15)
• Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. (12/1)
• Halloween Safety Tips ... (11/7)
• A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. (10/27)
• Make sure you know the lingo this Halloween ... (10/24)
• Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman ... (10/22)
• A preacher was walking along a street when he noticed a small boy sitting on the curb (10/15)
• I recently read your column advising grandparents on "tough love."  (10/6)
• A woman went to the doctor's office. Where she was seen by one of the new doctors ... (10/3)
• A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game. (9/10)
• A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out ... (9/5)
• Farmer John lived on a quiet rural street. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up ... (8/25)
• The coach of the Giants got wind of a potential new young recruit who lived in Iraq ... (8/20)
• The passenger tapped the cab driver on the shoulder to ask him something ... (8/8)
• Taxiing down the tarmac, the DC10 stopped, turned around and returned to the gate ... (7/30)
• A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. (7/7)
• A curious fellow died one day and found himself waiting in the long line of judgment (6/30)
• A woman received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. (6/20)
• A wise old farmer went to town to buy a truck that he saw advertised for a certain price. (6/2)
• More actual classified ads in newspapers ... (5/23)
• Two nuns who were nursing sisters had gone out to the country to minister to an patient. (5/21)
• There was a man who had worked all of his life... (5/9)
• Visitor's Day at the Lunatic Asylum (5/7)
• Eternal Truths (5/7)
• For all you Lexiophiles (lovers of words) (5/2)
• A guy comes into a coffee shop & places his order... (5/2)
• Golden Books That Never Made It (4/30)
• In a city park stood two beautiful statues... (4/25)
• What the Doctor Says vs. What He Really Means: (4/16)
• Do you remember a time when ...  (4/14)
• Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road... (4/4)
• A well-known cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. (4/2)
• Funny Signs... (3/28)
• The Newest Medications for Women (3/24)
• The Washington Post holds a contest to find alternate meanings for various words. (3/12)
• A little old lady goes to the doctor ... (3/7)
• Two African doctors are arguing in a hospital corridor. (3/3)
• A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser ...  (2/19)
• Valentine cards with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line (2/14)
• A nun was going to Chicago... (2/10)
• This guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." (1/31)
• A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and went in for coronary surgery. (1/24)
• A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. (1/13)
• One night, a torrential rain soaked South Louisiana ... (1/1)

2002

• Little Johnny's house is packed with relatives for Christmas dinner. (12/2)
• A little Jewish woman called the Hospital and ask information on a patient ... (11/22)
• An old farmer had owned a large farm for several years. (11/18)
• Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse is taking their sweet time .. (11/13)
• Not too long ago a large seminar was held for ministers in training. (10/30)
• It was opening night at the Orpheum and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. (10/28)
• The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the theater (10/14)
• Shamus and Paddy were passengers on a jet crossing the Atlantic. (10/7)
• The Pope took a couple of days off his itinerary to visit Lake Michigan ... (10/4)
• A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ... (9/20)
• Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." (9/16)
• I have been unable to sleep since I broke off your engagement to my daughter. (9/9)
• The Evolution of Teaching Math (7/31)
• An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. (7/29)
• An County Deputy pulled a speeding car over ... (8/26)
• A policeman pulled a driver over and told him that since he was wearing his seatbelt ... (8/24)
• A fire started on some grassland near a farm in Alberta ... (7/12)
• A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. (6/19)
• My wife told me that I had left the light on in the shed. (5/20)
• Things My mother taught me ... (5/17)
• I left Montreal heading toward Quebec, when I decided to stop at a comfort station ... (5/15)
• The Images of Mother (5/13)
• An Episcopal Priest, a Catholic Priest, and a Rabbi are discussing funerals ... (5/10)
• A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 2001 Ferrari GTO. (5/8)
• Mrs. O'Dunigan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin (5/1)
• A man in Topeka, Kansas decided to write a book about churches around the country.  (4/24)
• At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players... (4/22)
• Jesus and Satan were having an argument about who was better on his computer (4/17)
• Black and white - An ode to times long gone (4/15)
• The preacher noticed little Billy was staring up at the plaque (4/5)
• A team of archaeologists excavating in Israel came upon a cave. (4/1)
• It was early one morning when the Pastor heard a noise outside his door.  (3/29)
• A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial ... (3/20)
• The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks ... (3/15)
• In 18th-century vagabond in England, exhausted and famished (3/13)
• The old Cherokee chief sat in his reservation hut smoking the ceremonial pipe ... (3/5)
• What's Amore? (2/27)
• A man left for a vacation to Jamaica.  (2/13)
• Let me clear up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets ... (2/8)
• How to Dispose of Junk Mail (1/11)
• The State of North Dakota has mobilized it's elite Special Forces Ground Units (1/7)
• An elderly man, that had a little to much to drink, was walking along the road. (1/4)

2001

• A woman was at work when she received a phone call  (12/19)
• A fellow is getting ready to tee-off on the first hole ... (12/3)
• A distinguished professor and his chauffeur were talking one day (11/19)
• Dr. Cutter is the local Veterinarian, known for his wry humor. (11/16)
• Actual newspaper headlines.... (10/22)
• The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are a short tempered lot. (10/12)
• The wise old Mother Superior was dying. (9/7)
• A crusty old man walks into a bank ... (8/22)
• The passenger tapped the cab driver on the shoulder to ask him something.  (7/27)
• A preacher went to his church office on Monday morning (7/23)
• Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say (7/10)
• Bubba was bragging to his boss one day that he knew everyone there is to know. (7/6)
• Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. (6/20)
• Simon is struggling through a bus station (6/18)
• A New Yorker was forced to appear for a minor traffic summons.  (6/13)
• A farmer lived on a quiet rural highway. (6/8)
• A man was recently stopped by a game warden in Northern Minnesota.  (6/6)
• Back in the time of the Samurai there was a powerful emperor ... (5/12)
• The Pope and Queen Elizabeth were standing on a balcony ... (5/9)
• Mrs. Cohen came home from her Sisterhood meeting at the synagogue.  (5/8)
• The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper. (5/7)
• The Pope was on his way to a important meeting in New York and was running late. (5/4)
• Three gentlemen are golfing one sunny day.  (5/3)
• A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean (4/27)
• A watermelon farmer was determined to scare off the local kids ... (4/24)
• In an effort to reduce costs this year, the following are effective immediately:  (4/23)
• Jake had been an observant catholic and was in the hospital, near death. (4/20)
• What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? (4/19)
• An artist asked if there had been any interest in his paintings. (4/17)
• A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood ... (4/16)
• Money...It can buy a house ... . . but not a home. (4/10)
• The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house ... (4/4)
• You know that all potatoes have eyes... (3/27)
• A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt ... (3/22)
• Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering who to invade next ... (3/20)
• A man was taking it easy, laying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. (3/19)
• One bee asks the other, "Where can I get something to eat around here?" (3/16)
• Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the State Fair every year ... (3/15)
• A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. (3/15)
• A very devout nun dies and goes to heaven ...  (3/6)
• Things to do to drive your roommate crazy (3/1)
• A traveler, lost on a rainy night, stumbles across a monastery (2/19)
• An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. (2/16)
• A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the radio show ... (2/15)
• An eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over to him. (2/12)
• A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks him to buy him a drink. (2/7)
• Three little boys couldn't get anyone to play with them. (2/3)
• Tommy Shaughnessy enters the confessional box and says... (2/2)
• Two Indians and a Hillbilly were walking in the woods ...  (2/2)
• The Indians asked their Chief if the winter was going to be cold or not.  (1/29)
• The day finally arrives: Forrest Gump dies and goes to heaven.  (1/29)
• An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean ... (1/26)
• A young woman brings home her fiancée to meet her parents.  (1/25)
• Five quick one liners (1/22)
• A businessman was in a great deal of trouble.  (1/20)
• What does that tell you?" asks The Lone Ranger. (1/19)
• "Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline." (1/17)
• It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. (1/16)
• Early one morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up. (1/15)
• A guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a fellow with a Chihuahua ... (1/15)
• A women walks into a bank in New York city and asks for a loan. (1/15)
• An old snake goes to see his Doctor.  (1/6)
• This little old lady was nearly blind and she had three sons (1/3)
• A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. (1/1)

2000

• A mangy looking guy goes into a bar and orders a drink.  (12/29)
• In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. (12/26)
• An handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to marry (12/25)
• A man was in the hospital recovering from an operation ... (12/23)
• Off at college, the student has gone through all of his allowance (12/22)
• On their honeymoon the new husband told his bride ... (12/16)
• In an American history discussion group, the professor was trying to explain ... (12/13)
• The Game Warden goes down to conduct a surprise inspection ... (12/12)
• By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. (12/11)
• Dan got a frantic call from his blond girlfriend. (12/11)
• Real quotes from medical records (12/10)
• An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. (11/30)
• An old man was laying on his death bed (11/30)
• Army Vs Navy (11/29)
• A federal office worker finds a lamp in an old file drawer ... (11/29)
• Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving  (11/21)
• A new business was opening ... (11/18)
• A note from the Queen to Americans regarding the recent election. (11/18)
• A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle ... (11/15)
• An accountant, a lawyer and a cowboy were using the urinal (11/14)
• Last week I took some friends out to a restaurant . .  (11/8)
• A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman ... (11/8)
• It is the year 2000 and Noah lives in the United States (11/7)
• The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident (11/3-4)
• A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor (11/1)
• A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. (10/30)
• A scientist, a chemist, and an engineer were sentenced to die by the guillotine. (10/29)
• Tendjewberrymud 10/29)
• The old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. (10/27-28)
• Two nuns were in back of the convent smoking cigarettes ... (10/24)
• The other night I was invited out for a night with "the boys." (10/23)
• A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man ... (10/19)
• Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street ... (10/18)
• The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday ... (10/17)
• Three buddies die in a car crash ... (10/16)
• Fred was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his pastor ... (10/16)
• A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, accompanied by 2 female teachers ...  (10/16)
• A guy arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted (10/15)
• A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney ... (10/12)
• Two doctors and an HMO manager died and lined up at the pearly gates ... (10/10)
• A cabbie picks up a nun ... (10/10)
• Once there was a Scottish Accountant ... (10/9)
• A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding ... (10/6)
• Six guys were playing poker when O'Malley loses $500 on a single hand (10/5)
• A New York woman was at her East Side hairdresser's ... (9/27)
• Four guys are driving cross-country together ... (9/26)
• Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip ... (9/25)
• Humorous in-flight safety lectures (9/13)
• When you're hospitalized, it pays to be nice to your nurse ... (9/11)
• A man was telling his co-worker one day ... (9/11)
• The first speaker, a lady from England stood up and said (9/7)
• Why did the chicken cross the road? (9/4)
• The burglar was creeping noiselessly through the darkened home ... (9/3)
• Martin had just received his brand new drivers license ... (9/2)
• An able-bodied seaman meets a pirate in a bar ... (8/28)
• The southern preacher rose with a red face ...  (8/23)
• Engineer's one, err, two liners (8/22)
• This elderly gentleman took his dog to the vet ... (8/18)
• A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter's plane ... (8/12)
• For all you golfers out there (8/7)
• Cold is relative  (8/5)
• Three accountants and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference ... (8/1)