Humor Additions for Wednesday, Nov 12th, 2003

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A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl...

As he sits down, a man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.

"No," he says, "The seat is empty."

"This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it?"

He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1987."

"Oh .... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible! But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?".

The man shakes his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."

Submitted by Bill, Narberth, PA

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Proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night...

...the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.

"What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked.

"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock" the drunk replied.

A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.

"Yup" replied the drunk.

"How's it work?" the second guest asked, squinting at it.

"Watch" the man said. He picked up a hammer, gave it an ear shattering pound and stepped back.

The three stood looking at one another for a moment.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, " For Christ sake, it's ten past three in the morning!"

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Did they mean to do that? Take 2.


Nov 10th Humor Page