A fire started on some
grassland near a farm in Indiana.
The fire department from the
nearby town was called to put the fire out.
The fire proved to be more than the small
town fire department could handle, so someone suggested that a
rural volunteer fire department be called.
The volunteer fire department arrived in a
dilapidated old fire truck. They drove straight towards the fire
and stopped right in the middle of the flames. The volunteer
firemen jumped off the truck and frantically started spraying
water in all directions...
Soon they had snuffed out the center of
the fire, dividing the flames into two easily controllable parts.
Now the farmer was so impressed with the
volunteer fire department's work and so grateful that his farm and
crops had been spared, that he presented the volunteer fire
department with a check for $1000.
A local news reporter asked the volunteer
fire captain what the department planned to do with the funds.
"That should be obvious," he responded, "the first thing we're
gonna do is get the brakes fixed on that stupid fire truck!!"
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Stories, My Little
The famous comedian Steven Wright,
"I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen
and replaced by exact duplicates."
Here are some more of his gems:
- I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
- Borrow money from pessimists - they don't
expect it back.
- Half the people you know are below
- 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the
- A conscience is what hurts when all your
other parts feel so good.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of
a bad memory.
- If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up
with the rain.
- All those who believe in psychokinesis,
raise my hand.
- The early bird may get the worm, but the
second mouse gets the cheese.
- I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she
left me before we met.
- OK, so what's the speed of dark?
- How do you tell when you're out of
- If everything seems to be going well, you
have obviously overlooked something.
- Depression is merely anger without
- When everything is coming your way, you're
in the wrong lane.
- Ambition is a poor excuse for not having
enough sense to be lazy.
- Hard work pays off in the future: Laziness
pays off now.
- I intend to live forever - so far, so
- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have
to buy her friends?
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get
sucked into jet engines.
- What happens if you get scared half to
- My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair
your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
- Why do psychics have to ask you for your
- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all
evidence that you tried.
- A conclusion is the place where you got
tired of thinking.
- Experience is something you don't get
until just after you need it.
- The hardness of the butter is proportional
to the softness of the bread.
- To steal ideas from one person is
plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
- The problem with the gene pool is that
there is no lifeguard.
- The sooner you fall behind, the more time
you'll have to catch up.
- The colder the x-ray table, the more of
your body is required to be on it.
- Everyone has a photographic memory, some
just don't have film.
Submitted by Don, Middletown, Md
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Did they mean to do that?
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