Humor Additions for August 10th 2005

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Bubba applied for an engineering position at IBM in Raleigh. 

A Yankee applied for the same job. Both applicants had the same qualifications and at the completion of a skills test, both men had only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Bubba and said, "Thank you for your interest but we've decided to give the Yankee the job."

Bubba asked, "And why are you giving him the job? We both got nine questions correct. This being North Carolina, and me being a Southern boy I should get the job!"

The manager said, "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but rather on the one question that you both missed."

Bubba then asked, "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"

The manager replied, "Bubba, its like this, on question #4 the Yankee put down 'I don't know.' You put down, 'Neither do I.

Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, MD.

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Out of the Mouths of Babes take 2

The minister called on a seldom-seen parishoner, asking if she was in good health, and generally enquiring why she rarely attended services.

"Oh," she said, "it's difficult to get out of the house these days, but, reverend, I still keep up my bible study and prayers, don't I darling?" she said, turning to her five-year-old daughter - who looked rather blankly at her.

"Darling," she went on, "Run and fetch mummy's favourite book, there's a good girl."

A few moments later she returned holding out the Sears catalogue.

A woman invited some people to dinner.

At the table, she turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing, darling?"

"I wouldn't know what to say," she replied.

"Just say what you hear mummy say," she said encouragingly.

The girl bowed her head and said "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

The mimister's five-year-old son had been watching the men fix the road outside their house for some time, and finally came into the kitchen about lunch time and said to his mother "Mummy, could I have a jam sandwich for lunch, please?"

"Well, you've never wanted that before. Are you sure?" She replied.

"Yes. Please, mummy, and wrap it in greaseproof paper, and put it in a brown paper bag, please."

She did, and watched him walk to the gutter and sit down. Slipping out the front door, she was in time to see him open the bag, tear away the wrapping, take out the sandwich, open it up, look inside, and say in a loud, angry voice, "Bloody jam again!"

Submitted by Lindsey, Melbourne, Australia

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Moishe is driving in Jerusalem.

He's late for a meeting. He's looking for a parking place, and can't find one. In desperation, he turns towards heaven and says, "G-d, if you find me a parking spot I promise that I'll eat only kosher, I'll respect Shabbas and all the holidays."

Miraculously, a place opens up just in front of him. He turns his face up to heaven and says, "Never mind, I just found one."

Submitted by Larry, Walkersville, Md

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Why mechanics like to deal with most women! 600K

Submitted by Vickie, Downingtown, Pa.

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