Out of the Mouths of Babes take 2
The minister called on a seldom-seen parishoner, asking if she was in good health, and generally enquiring why she rarely attended services.
"Oh," she said, "it's difficult to get out of the house these days, but, reverend, I still keep up my bible study and prayers, don't I darling?" she said, turning to her five-year-old daughter - who looked rather blankly at her.
"Darling," she went on, "Run and fetch mummy's favourite book, there's a good girl."
A few moments later she returned holding out the Sears catalogue.
A woman invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing, darling?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," she replied.
"Just say what you hear mummy say," she said encouragingly.
The girl bowed her head and said "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
The mimister's five-year-old son had been watching the men fix the road outside their house for some time, and finally came into the kitchen about lunch time and said to his mother "Mummy, could I have a jam sandwich for lunch, please?"
"Well, you've never wanted that before. Are you sure?" She replied.
"Yes. Please, mummy, and wrap it in greaseproof paper, and put it in a brown paper bag, please."
She did, and watched him walk to the gutter and sit down. Slipping out the front door, she was in time to see him open the bag, tear away the wrapping, take out the sandwich, open it up, look inside, and say in a loud, angry voice, "Bloody jam again!"
Submitted by Lindsey, Melbourne, Australia