Humor Additions for February 9th, 2004

    My Little Sister's Jokes > Recent Addition List

New jokes posted on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Happily maintained  by the Community of Emmitsburg, MD.

Help us build our joke and story bank.
E-mail us at:

A guy buys a brand new Lincoln Navigator truck for $42,500 and has $560 monthly payments.

He and a friend go duck hunting in winter, and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the lake with their guns, a dog, and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready.

Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. In order to make a hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down and land on, it's going to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill. So, out of the back of the new Navigator truck comes a stick of dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse.

Now, these two Rocket Scientists do take into consideration that they want to place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they are standing (and from the new Navigator truck), and they don't want to take the risk of slipping on the ice when they run from the lit dynamite fuse and possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast. They light the 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite as far away as they can.

Remember a couple of sentences back when I mentioned the vehicle, the guns, and the dog??

Let's talk about the dog: it's a highly trained Labrador used for RETRIEVING. Especially well trained at retrieving things thrown by the owner. You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice and captures the stick of dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse about the time it hits the ice. The two men yell, scream, wave their arms and wonder what to do now. The dog, cheered on, keeps coming.

One of the guys grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 birdshot, hardly big enough to stop a Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, but continues on. Another shot and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinking these two geniuses have gone insane. The dog takes off to find cover, under the brand new Navigator truck..

The men continue to yell as they run away. The exhaust pipe on the truck is still hot, so the dog yelps and drops the dynamite under the truck, and takes off after his master.

Then --BOOM-- the truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake in a very large hole, leaving the two idiots standing there with this "I can't believe this happened" look on their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED. He still had yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments!!!

And you thought your day was not going well.

Submitted by Vicki, Downingtown, Md.

Return to: Top of Page, List of Funny Stories, My Little Sister's Jokes,

Eastern Europe is well known for its harsh winters.

... Croatian Zlatko Grdn, 52, has presumably seen his fair share of them. But in temperatures which recently dropped low enough to play havoc with outdoor machinery, Grdn was exasperated to find his car had fallen victim to the weather. After repeatedly refusing to start, he diagnosed the problem as being a frozen engine. The decision process which followed is perfectly logical, just insane.

How do you defrost something? You warm it up of course. And how do you warm things up? You get a fire going.

Grdn retrieved some old newspapers, stuffed them under the engine and lit them. Whether or not he wandered off out of concern for his safety or

simply though boredom, I do not know. However, wander off he did and was therefore downgraded from a candidate for a Darwin to an Honourable Mention when his car exploded in a fireball. A heartbroken Grden told local media: "I couldn't start the engine and realised it was frozen. I decided to warm it up. Now my lovely car is destroyed".

Luckily, Grden now thinks he has identified what went wrong. "Maybe I used too much paper", he said.

Submitted by Bill, Narberth, Pa.

Return to: Top of Page, List of Funny Stories, My Little Sister's Jokes,

In 1968, Herman James, a Tennessee Mountain man, was drafted by the army.

On his first day of boot camp, the army issued him a toothbrush. That afternoon, an army dentist yanked several of his teeth.

On his second day, the army issued him a comb. That afternoon, an army barber sheared his head.

On his third day, he was issued a jock strap. The army is still looking for him.

Submitted by John, Emmitsburg, Md

Return to: Top of Page, Groaner Joke List, My Little Sister's Jokes,

Only in American ...

Feb 6th Humor Page