In a trial, in a small SC town,
a prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand.
She was sworn in, asked
if she would tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but
the truth, on the Bible, so help her God.
The witness was a proper well-dressed
elderly lady, the grandmother type, well-spoken and poised.
The prosecuting attorney approached
the woman and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes I do know
you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy
and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie,
cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk badly about
them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot
when you haven't the sense to realize you never will amount to
anything more than a two-bit paper-pushing shyster. Yes, I
know you quite well."
The lawyer was stunned. He couldn't
even think for a few minutes. Then, slowly backed away,
fearing the looks on the judge and jurors' faces, not to
mention the court reporter who documented every word. Not
knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,
"Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do.
I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's
lazy, bigoted, has a bad drinking problem. The man can't build
or keep a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice
is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he
cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know
The defense attorney almost fainted
and was seen slipping downward in his chair, looking at the
floor. Laughter mixed with gasps thundered throughout the
court room and the audience was on the verge of chaos.
At this point, the judge brought the
courtroom to silence, called both counselors to the bench, and
in a very quiet voice said, "If either of you crooked bastards
asks her if she knows me, you'll be thrown in the jail for
Submitted by Dave, Bolder, Co.
After a hardy West Virginia
rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys
young mother watched her two little boys playing in the
puddle through her kitchen window. The older of the two, a
five year old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of his
head and shoved his face into the water hole. As the boy
recovered and stood laughing and dripping, the mother runs to
the yard in a panic.
"Why on earth did you do that to your
little brother?!" she says as she shook the older boy in
"We were just playing 'church' mommy"
he said. "I was baptizing him in the name of the Father, the
Son and in the hole-he-goes.
Submitted by Don, Hagerstown. Md.
A nurse took the tired, anxious
serviceman to the bedside.
"Your son is here,"
she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several
times before the patient's eyes opened.
Heavily sedated because of the pain
of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young man in the Marine
Corps uniform standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached
out his hand.. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers
around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love
The nurse brought a chair so that the
Marine could sit alongside the bed.
Nights are long in hospitals-but all
through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly
lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him
words of love and strength.
Occasionally, the nurse suggested
that the Marine move away and rest a while. He refused.
Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was
oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital--
the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night
staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of
the other patients.
Now and then she heard him say a few
gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly
to his son's hand all through the night.
Along towards dawn, the old man died.
The Marine released the lifeless hand he had been holding and
went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he
Finally, she returned. She started to
offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her.
"That's not necessary... Who was that man?" he asked.
The nurse was startled, "He was your
father" she answered.
"No, he wasn't," the Marine replied.
"I never saw him before in my life."
"Then why didn't you say something
when I took you to him?"
"I knew right away that there had
been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his
son just wasn't here. When I realized that he was too sick to
tell whether or not I was his son, and I knew how much he
needed me. So I stayed."
The next time God gives you an
opportunity ... be there. Stay.
You'll be glad you did.
Submitted by Darlene, Germantown,