Humor Additions for Friday, Oct 10th, 2003

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On a tour of Texas, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing.

He was cruising along the beach in the Pope-Mobile when there was a frantic commotion just off shore. A helpless man, wearing a Black & Silver Raiderís jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark. As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with three men wearing Denver Bronco's jerseys. One quickly fired a harpoon into the sharks' side. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Raider fan from the water. Then using long clubs, the three beat the shark to death and hauled it, too, into the boat. Immediately, the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach.

  • "I give you my blessing for your brave actions," he said. "I have been told about there being bad blood between Broncos and Raider's but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true."
  • As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies "Who was that?"
  • "It was the Pope", one replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom."
  • "Well," the harpooner said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know jack about shark fishing. Is the bait holding up O.K., or do we need to get another one?"

Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, MD

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Subject: Little old lady

George the preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject. After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands.

Not satisfied he ranted and raved for another twenty minutes and repeated his question. This time he received a response of about 80 percent. Still dissatisfied, he lectured for another 15 minutes and repeated his question. With all thoughts now on Sunday dinner, all responded except one elderly lady in the rear.

"Mrs. Jones, why are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any." "Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "Ninety-three." "Mrs. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a person can live to be ninety-three, and not have an enemy in the world."

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, very slowly turned around and said: "It's easy ... I just outlived them all

Submitted by Debbie, Middletown, Md.

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Now that's refreshing


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