Humor Additions for Wednesday, Oct 18th, 2003

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The Smith's went into the dentist's office, and Mr. Smith made it clear he was in a big hurry.

"No fancy stuff, Doctor," he ordered.

"No gas or needles or any of that stuff.

Just pull the tooth and get it over with."

"I wish more of my patients were as brave as you," said the dentist admiringly.

"Now, which tooth is it?"

Mr. Smith turned to his wife...

"Show him your tooth, Honey."

Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, Md.

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Rambling Thoughts from Debbie ...
  • I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
  • When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping", now I just "chunky dunk".
  • Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
  • Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
  • My husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that's what he said.
  • Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
  • If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
  • Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Submitted by ... you guessed it, Debbie, Middletown, Md.

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The Dali Lama's Personality Test...

Just 4 questions and the answers will surprise you. Do not cheat by looking up the answers. The mind is like a parachute, it works best when it is opened. This is fun to do, but you have to follow the instructions very closely.

A Warning! Answer the questions as you go along.

There are only four questions and if you see them all before finishing, you will not have honest results. Go down slowly and do each exercise as you scroll down. Don't look ahead. Get pencil and paper to write your answers as you go along. You will need it at the end. This is an honest questionnaire which will tell you a lot about your true self. Give an answer for each item.

Put the following 5 animals in the order of your preference.

  • Cow
  • Tiger
  • Sheep
  • Horse
  • Pig

Write one word that describes each one of the following:

  • Dog
  • Cat
  • Rat
  • Coffee
  • Sea

Think of someone (who also knows you and is important to you) and that you can relate to the following colors (do not repeat your answer twice. Name just one person for each color.)

  • Yellow
  • Orange
  • Red
  • White
  • Green

Finally, write down your favorite number and your favorite day of the week.

The interpretations below defines your priorities in your life:

  • Cow Signifies CAREER
  • Tiger Signifies PRIDE
  • Sheep Signifies LOVE
  • Horse! Signifies FAMILY
  • Pig Signifies MONEY

Your description of:

  • Dog implies your own personality.
  • Cat implies the personality of your partner.
  • Rat implies the personality of your enemies.
  • Coffee is how you interpret sex. e
  • Sea implies your own life.

With regards to your selection of People vs. Colors:

  • Yellow: Someone you will never forget
  • Orange: Someone you consider your true friend
  • Red: Someone that you really love
  • White: Your twin soul
  • Green: Someone that you will remember for the rest of your life

Submitted by Bill, Narberth, PA.

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Looking to sell a digital camera ... cheap. I don't need it any longer as  I'm in the hospital.

I'm including the last photo that I took so you have some idea about the  picture quality. Interested?

Submitted by Don, Middletown, Md.

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Oct 6th Humor Page