Humor Additions for Monday, Nov 3rd, 2003

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Three women escape from prison: one is a redhead, one a brunette, and one a blonde...

They run for miles until they come upon an old barn...

They decide to hide in the hayloft to rest. When they climb up, they find three gunnysacks and decide to put them over their heads for camouflage.

About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy come into the barn. The sheriff tells his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft.

When he gets up there, the sheriff asks him what he sees.

The deputy tells him, "just three gunnysacks".

The sheriff tells him to find out what is in them.

The deputy kicks the first bag, which has the redhead in it, and she says, "Woof! Woof!"

The deputy tells the sheriff that there is a dog in the first bag.

Then he kicks the bag with the brunette in it and she says "Meow! Meow!"

The deputy reports that there is a cat in the second bag.

Then he kicks the one with the blonde in it and there is no sound at all, so he kicks it again, a little harder, and the blonde says, "Potatoes."

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Interesting True Tombstones!
  • Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.
  • In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to go.
  • On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. The Good Die Young.
  • In a London, England cemetery: Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767
  • In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: Anna Wallace: The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna. Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.
  • In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery: Here lies Johnny Yeast.. Pardon me For not rising.
  • In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake.
  • In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery: Here lays The Kid. We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger But slow on the draw.
  • A lawyer's epitaph in England: Sir John Strange. Here lies an honest lawyer, And that is Strange.
  • John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery: Reader, if cash thou art In want of any, Dig 6 feet deep; And thou wilt find a Penny.
  • In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England: On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle Went out of tune.
  • Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont: Here lies the body of our Anna - Done to death by a banana. It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go.
  • On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts: Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod. Pease shelled out and went to God.
  • In a cemetery in England: Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so shall you be. Remember this and follow me.
  • To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone: To follow you I'll not consent Until I know which way you went.

Submitted by Dolly, Myersville, Md.

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Wonder what the photos taken 10 minutes later of the folks on the roof showed ...

Oct 31st Humor Page