Humor Additions for Monday, March 3rdh

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Two African doctors are arguing in a hospital corridor.

The first doctor says “I am telling you it is whooom, w-h-o-o-o-m.”

The second doctor contradicts “And I am telling you, you are wrong it is definitely wooomh, w-o-o-o-m-h.”

A young nurse passing overhears, and being new on the job and keen to impress decides to intervene. “Excuse me doctors, but I can help. The word you are looking for is womb, w-o-m-b.

She walks on down the corridor feeling pleased with herself.

The first doctor turns to the second and says “Ignore her, she doesn’t know what she is talking about. I bet she has never even seen a hippopotamus, let alone heard one fart under water.”

Submitted by Andy, Gettysburg, Pa

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More interesting, but useless facts to wow people at parties.
  • Some calculators can spell out ''GO2HELL'' after typing in 1134206, then looking at it upside down.
  • On average, left handed people live 8-9 years less than right handed people.
  • Cell phones have more bacteria and germs than public restroom toilet seats.
  • Of the 17,677 words Shakespeare used in his plays, sonnets, narrative poems, he was the first to use over 1,700 of them.
  • In the1600's, 1 penny equaled about $1.66.
  • Eating a poppy seed bagel before a drug test, will make you test positive for heroin usage.
  • Disney was once sued because a child noticed that in one scene, flying leaves spelled out the word ''Sex.'' (Quite well actually... it makes you wonder if it was a mistake.)

Submitted by Joe, Denver, CO.

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A plane with 4 passengers is about to crash, but has only 3 parachutes.

The first passenger said, "I'm Kobe Bryant, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers need me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first parachute and left the plane.

The second passenger, Hillary Clinton,said, "I am the wife of the former President of the United States. I am the most ambitious woman in the world. I am also a New York Senator, a potential future President and, above all, the smartest woman in the world." She grabbed the second parachute and jumped out of the plane.

The third passenger, Rev. Billy Graham, says to the fourth passenger, a 10 year-old school boy, "I am old and I don't have many years left. As a Christian I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."

The boy said, "It's ok, there's still a parachute left for you. America's smartest woman just took my school backpack."

Submitted by Cindy, Emmitsburg, Md.

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Why Men Shouldn't Baby Sit

Feb 28th Humor Page