Humor Additions for Wednesday, June 25th

    My Little Sister's Jokes > Recent Addition List 

New jokes posted on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Happily maintained  by the Community of Emmitsburg, MD.

Help us build our joke and story bank.
E-mail us at:

A collection of men's thoughts on their wives ....
  • "My wife has an uncanny way of standing between me and the television screen. Bases loaded, two strikes, three balls. The crowd goes wild, the pitch flies, and all I can see is her butt." --Howard, Dodge City, Kan.
  • "My wife was furious when I got up early once and made her breakfast. Called me controlling. How dare I decide that My Wife would eat breakfast, let alone what she'd have?" --Ted, Wexford, Pa.
  • "What's mine is hers. I buy her negligees; My Wife sleeps in my T- shirts. When My Wife's cold My Wife wears my wool socks to bed, never her own. My Wife steals my half-used razors; new ones are too sharp. My Wife even wears my boxers. I'm tempted to switch to briefs just to see what she'd do." --Dave, Martha's Vineyard, Mass.
  • "You can hear her eat soup from the next room." --Bruce, Bridgewater, N.J.
  • "My wife thinks everyone should be a vegetarian. During meals, My Wife asks people how they can eat dead cows, or if they know that their pork chops used to be smarter than their dogs." --Miles, Shreveport, La.
  • "Every so often boom! My wife’s a brunette. Or I come home to a redhead. Actually, I have no idea what her natural color is." --Cary, Seattle
  • "My wife will brush her teeth but she won't go to the dentist. She says she's not afraid of the pain; she just doesn't want to put herself in the hands of any fellow who'd choose to be a dentist. " --Terence, Gary, Ind.
  • "My wife’s stopped shaving her legs. My Wife says that now people will know she's a natural blonde." --Ned, Tucson, Ariz.
  • "My wife takes her half of the bed out of the middle." -Robin, Gladwyne, Pa.
  • "Have you ever seen a woman with green crust and slime smeared over her face, dark holes for her nostrils? Do you think you'd be able to sleep at night, knowing that creature is next to you?" --Arthur, Cedar City, Utah
  • "My wife’s allergic to everything. Her nose is chronically stuffed. If I kissed her on the mouth, she'd suffocate." --Bryan, Toledo, Ohio
  • "My wife wears these false eyelashes. She left 'em lying around and I slammed 'em with my newspaper, tried to kill the damn things. Scared me half to death." --Gordon, Oklahoma City, Okla.
  • "My Wife takes those soaps too seriously. I'll come home and find her in tears because some character died. Or upset that some nonexistent guy's having a fictional affair." --Archie, St. Louis
  • "My Wife will not shop at discount stores or sales. My Wife thinks they're crowded and plebeian. My Wife doesn't even look at the reduced rack, other than, perhaps, for gifts for my mother." --Conrad, Wilmington, Del.
  • "It annoys her that our children look like me." --James, New Orleans
  • "With five kids, I don't have time to complain about . don't have time to notice her." --Bob, Charleston, W.Va.

Return to: Top of Page, List of Jokes About Marriage, My Little Sister's Jokes,

A water bearer had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole he carried across his neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After 2 years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on! your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."

Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them.

Submitted by Bill, Narberth, PA.

Return to: Top of Page, List of Heart Warming Stories, My Little Sister's Jokes,

The Positive Side of Life
  • Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.
  • How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
  • Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
  • Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
  • Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?
  • Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.
  • You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
  • Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
  • Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.
  • We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors....but they all exist very nicely in the same box.
  • A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Have an awesome day, and know that someone who thinks you're great has thought about you today!

Submitted by Sister Wink, Yonkers, NY.

Return to: Top of Page, List of Inspirational Thoughts, My Little Sister's Jokes,

June 23rd Humor Page