Humor Additions for Monday, June 23rd

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A woman's husband dies leaving her $20,000

After everything is done at the funeral home and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that there is no money left.

The friend says, "How can that be? You told me he had $20,000 a few days before he died. How could you be broke?"

The widow says, "Well, the funeral cost me $6,000? And of course, I had to make the obligatory donation to the church, so that was another $2,000. The rest went for the memorial stone."

The friend says, "$12,000 for the memorial stone? My God, how big was it?

The widow says, "Three carats."

Submitted by Vicki, Downingtown, Pa.

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Four ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are.

The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic woman chirps, "Well, my son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic woman says smugly, "Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle "Well...?"

She replies, "My son is a gorgeous male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, women say, ‘My God...’."

Submitted by Bill, Narberth, Pa.

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Jewish and Chinese Beginnings 

"The Jewish people have observed their 5758th year as a people," the Hebrew teacher informed his class. "Consider that the Chinese have observed only their 4695th. What does this mean to you?"  

After a reflective pause, one student volunteered, "Well, for one thing, the Jewish people had to do without Chinese food for 1063 years."

 Submitted by Larry, Walkersville, Md.

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