You Know You're from
Pennsylvania When ...
- The first day of Buck season and the
first day of Doe season are school holidays.
- You own only three spices "salt, pepper
and Heinz ketchup".
- Driving is always better in winter
because the potholes are filled with snow.
- Words like "hoagie", "crick", "chipped
ham", and "pop" actually mean something to you.
- You can use the phrase "fire hall
wedding reception" and not even bat an eye.
- You constantly refer to Pennsylvania as
"PA" (pronounced Pee-ay). How many other states do that?
- You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse,
Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Beaver, Moon, Virginville, Paradise, Mars,
and Slippery Rock are PA towns.
- Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars
waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
- You measure distance in hours.
- You know several people who have hit
deer more than once.
- You often switch from "Heat" to "A/C"
in the same day.
- You carry jumper cables in your car and
your girlfriend or wife knows how to use them.
- You can actually eat cold pizza (even
for breakfast) and know others who do the same. (Those from NY
find this "barbaric".)
- You not only have heard of Birch Beer,
but you know that it comes in several colors: Red, White, Brown,
- At least 5 people on your block have
electric "candles" in all or most of their windows all year
- You know what a "State Store" is, and
your out of state friends find it incredulous that you can't
purchase liquor at the mini-mart.
- You know several places to purchase or
that serve Scrapple, Summer Sausage (Lebanon Bologna), and Hot
- You can't go to a Pennsylvania wedding
without hearing the "Chicken Dance" and at least 5 Polkas.
- You live for summer, when street fairs
signal the beginning of funnel cake season.
- You ask the waitress for "dippy eggs"
- Your turkey has "filling," not
"stuffing," and most certainly, NOT "dressing."
Submitted by Vicki, Downingtown, Pa.
You Know You Live in Colorado
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of Humorous Sayings, My Little
A blonde wanted to go ice
... so after getting
all of the right tools, she headed toward the nearest frozen lake.
After getting comfy on her stool she
started to cut a circular hole in the ice. Then from the heavens a
voice boomed, ''there are no fish under the ice.''
Startled, the blonde moved further down
the ice, poured a thermos of hot chocolate and started to cut yet
another hole in the ice. The voice boomed, ''there are no
fish under the ice.''
This time quite scared, the blonde moved
to the far end of the ice. Then she started another hole and once
again the voice said, ''there are no fish under the ice.''
The very scared blonde raised her head and
said, ''Is that you, Lord?''
The voice answered, "No. It is the manager
of the ice rink."
Submitted by Marianne, Columbia, Md.
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Jan 3rd Humor Page