Humor Additions for Friday,  January 3, 2003

    My Little Sister's Jokes > Recent Addition List 

New jokes posted on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Happily maintained  by the Community of Emmitsburg, MD.

Help us build our joke and story bank.
E-mail us at:

Morty and Saul, are out one afternoon on a lake when their boat starts sinking.

Saul says to Morty, "So listen, Morty, you know I don't swim so well. Your going to have use that  life saving training you got during our Synagogue summer camp days."

Morty went over what he still remembered of the training and  began tugging Saul toward shore. After ten minutes, he begins to tire. Finally about 100 feet from shore, Morty asks Saul, "So Saul, do you suppose you could float alone?"

Saul replies, "Morty, this is a hell of a time to be asking for money!"

Submitted by Larry, Walkersville, Md.

Return to: Top of Page, List of Ethnic Jokes, My Little Sister's Jokes,

There are recent rumors that Julie Andrews did a concert for AARP.

Ms. Andrews sang a favorite from the Sound of Music, Favorite Things.  There were a few changes to the words, to fit in with the AARP theme ...

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak,
When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin,
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinin,
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, when the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Submitted by Suse, Gettysburg, PA.

Return to: Top of Page, List of Jokes About Aging, My Little Sister's Jokes ,

A Good Pun Is Its Own Reword ... However a Bad Pun ...
  • Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.
  • A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
  • Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
  • A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
  • Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
  • I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
  • If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality comes from morons?
  • Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
  • A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
  • Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
  • Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
  • Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
  • Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
  • When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
  • Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
  • When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
  • Alarms: What an octopus is.
  • Dockyard: A physician's garden.
  • Incongruous: Where bills are passed.
  • Khakis: What you need to start the car in Boston.
  • Oboe: An English tramp.
  • Pasteurize: Too far to see.
  • Propaganda: A gentlemanly goose.
  • Toboggan: Why we go to an auction.

Return to: Top of Page, Groaner Joke List, My Little Sister's Jokes,

Jan 1st Humor Page