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An elderly gent was invited to
his old friends' home for dinner one evening.
He was impressed by the way his
buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing
terms-Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc...
The couple had been married
almost 70 years, and clearly they were still very much in love.
While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to
his host, "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you
still call your wife those loving pet names."
The old man hung his head. "I
have to tell you the truth," he said, "I forgot her name about 10
years ago.
Submitted by Mike, Broomfield,
CO.
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About Aging, My Little
Sister's Jokes
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Lessons I've learned
through my life ...
- That life is like a roll of toilet
paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
- That we should be glad God doesn't give
us everything we ask for.
- That money doesn't buy class.
- That it's those small daily happenings
that make life so spectacular.
- That under everyone's hard shell is
someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
- That the Lord didn't do it all in one
day. What makes me think I can?
- That to ignore the facts does not
change the facts.
- That when you plan to get even with
someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
- That love, not time, heals all wounds.
- That the easiest way for me to grow as
a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
- That there's nothing sweeter than
sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your
cheeks.
- That no one is perfect until you fall
in love with them.
- That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
- That opportunities are never lost;
someone will take the ones you miss.
- That when you harbor bitterness,
happiness will dock elsewhere.
- That I wish I could have told my Dad
that I love him one more time before he passed away.
- That one should keep his words both
soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
- That a smile is an inexpensive way to
improve your looks.
- That I can't choose how I feel, but I
can choose what I do about it.
- That when your newly born child holds
your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for
life.
- That everyone wants to live on top of
the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while
you're climbing it.
- That it is best to give advice in only
two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life
threatening situation.
- That the less time I have to work with,
the more things I get done.
Submitted by Debbie, Proud
Wife of
Paul,
Middletown, Md.
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What's the difference
between the Eagles and the Taliban?
A. The Taliban has a running game.
Q. What do the Eagles and Billy Graham
have in common?
A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus
Christ".
Q. How do you keep an Eagles player out
of your yard?
A. Put up goal posts.
Q. Where do you go in Philly in case of
a tornado?
A. Veterans Stadium- they rarely get a touchdown there.
Q. Why doesn't Harrisburg have one of
those exciting NFL teams?
A. Because Philly would want one.
Q. Why was Andy Reid upset when the
Eagles playbook was stolen?
A. Because he hadn't finished coloring it.
Q. What's the difference between the
Eagles and a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q. What do you call 53 people sitting
around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A. The Philadelphia Eagles
Q. What do the Eagles and possums have
in common?
A. They both play dead.
Q. How can you tell when the Eagles are
going to run the ball?
A. Duce leaves the huddle with tears in his eyes.
Submitted by my brother
Bill, former Eagles
fan, Narberth, just outside of Philadelphia
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Jan
24th Humor Page
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