I left Montreal heading toward Quebec city, when I decided to stop at a comfort
The first stall was occupied, so I went into the second one. I was no sooner seated than
I heard a voice from the next stall: "Hi, how are you doing?"
Well, I am not the type to chat with strangers in highway comfort stations, and I really don't
know quite what possessed me, but anyway, I answered, a little embarrassed: "Not bad."
And the stranger said: "And, what are you up to?"
Talk about your dumb questions! I was really beginning to think this was too weird!
So I said: "Well, just like you I'm driving east."
Then, I heard the stranger, all upset, say, "Look, I'll call you back, there's some idiot in
the next stall answering all the questions I am asking you."
Submitted by Andy, Gettysburg, Pa
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Classes for men at a local learning center for adults.
Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, each course will accept a
maximum of 8 participants each.
- Topic 1: How to fill up the ice cube trays. Step-by-step, with slide presentation.
- Topic 2: The toilet paper roll: Do they grow on the holders? Roundtable discussion.
- Topic 3: Is it possible to urinate using the technique of lifting the seat up and
avoiding the floor/walls and nearby bathtub? Group practice.
- Topic 4: Fundamental differences between the laundry hamper and the floor. Pictures and
- Topic 5: The after-dinner dishes and silverware: Can they levitate and fly into the
kitchen sink? Examples on video.
- Topic 6: Loss of identity: Losing the remote to your significant other. Helpline support
and support groups.
- Topic 7: Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place instead of
turning the house upside down while screaming. Open forum.
- Topic 8: Health watch: Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health. Graphics and
- Topic 9: Real men ask for directions when lost. Real-life testimonials.
- Topic 10: Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks? Driving
- Topic 11: Learning to live: Basic differences between mother and wife. Online class and
- Topic 12: How to be the ideal shopping companion. Relaxation exercises, meditation and
- Topic 13: How to fight cerebral atrophy: Remembering birthdays, anniversaries, other
important dates and calling when you're going to be late. Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies
Upon completion of the course diplomas will be issues to the survivors.
Submitted by Sister Wink, the Bronx, NY
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More Actual Bumper Stickers ...
- If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
- You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.
- The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
- So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
- Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
- If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
- The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name.
- Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
- Iliterate? Write For Help.
- Honk If Anything Falls Off.
- Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
- He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit.
- I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
- You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
- I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
- Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
- Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
- If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...(Seen Upside Down On A Jeep)
- Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
- Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel.
- Boldly Going Nowhere.
- Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.
- Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
- Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
- How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
- If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
- Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch.
- Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!
- My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
- GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.
- All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
- Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
- I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
And another one from Sister Wink
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