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Golf is growing in popularity and people who don't even play go to tournaments or watch it on TV.

The following truisms may shed light on reasons why:

  • Golf is an honorable game, with the overwhelming majority of players being honorable people who don't need referees.
  • Golfers don't scratch their privates on the golf course.
  • Golfers don't kick dirt on, or throw bottles at, other people.
  • Professional golfers are compensated in direct proportion to how well they play.
  • Golfers don't hold out for more money, or demand new contracts, because of another player's deal.
  • When golfers make a mistake, nobody is there to cover for them or back them up.
  • The PGA Tour raises more money for charity in one year than the National Football League does in two.
  • In golf, you cannot fail 70% of the time and make $9 million a season.
  • Golf doesn't change its rules to attract Fans.
  • Golfers keep their clothes on while they are being interviewed.
  • Golf doesn't have free agency.
  • In their prime, Greg Norman, Arnold Palmer and other stars, would shake your hand and say they were happy to meet you. In his prime
  • Jose Canseco wore T-shirts that read "Leave Me Alone."
  • At a golf tournament, you will not hear a steady stream of four letter words and nasty name calling while you're hoping that no one spills beer on you.

Submitted by Bill, Narberth, Pa.

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Jesus and Saint Peter are walking along the beach one day when they see an oil rig out at sea.

Jesus asks Peter, "would you like to go and see that?" Peter replies that he would and so they start walking out to sea.

As they are walking Peter notices that the water is up to his knees, but is only at Jesus' ankles. He doesn't say anything and keeps walking. Sometime later the water is up to Peter's chest and yet it is still only round Jesus' ankles. Peter doesn't say anything and keeps walking.

Eventually, Peter is finding it difficult keeping his head above water and he asks Jesus, "How are you walking on water?"

Jesus replies, "Walking on water? I'm walking on the pipes"

Submitted By Merra, Somewhere in Northern England

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A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot.

One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 6-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.

She hung around and eventually the construction crew, gems-in-the-rough all of them, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a dollar. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the dollar pay she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank the teller was equally impressed with the story and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.

The little girl proudly replied, "I've been working with a crew building a house all week."

"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week too?"

She replied "I will if those useless idiots at the lumber yard ever bring us any drywall that's worth a damn!"

Submitted by Max, Bethany Lutheran Church, Austin, Tx.

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