An Irishman with
a bad leg hobbled into a restaurant one afternoon.
He painfully sat down at a
booth and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Irishman
looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over
there?" The waitress nodded so the Irishman told her to
give Jesus a cup of coffee too.
The next patron to come in was
an Englishman with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth
and asked the waitress for a glass of hot tea. He also glanced
across the restaurant and asked "Is that Jesus over
there?". The waitress nodded so the Englishman said to give
Jesus a cup of hot tea too.
The third patron to come into
the restaurant was a Hillbilly from Eastern Kentucky. He
swaggered over to a booth, sat down and hollered "Hey there
sweet thang, hows about getting me a cold glass of Coke!".
He too looked across the restaurant and asked "Is that
God's boy over there?". The waitress nodded so the
Hillbilly said to give Jesus a cold glass of coke too.
As Jesus got up to leave He
passed by the Irishman and touched him and said
"For your kindness, you
are healed." The Irishman felt the strength come back into
his leg and got up and danced a jig out the door.
Jesus also passed by the
Englishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you
are healed." The English man felt his back straightening up
and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of
back flips out the door.
Then Jesus walked towards the
Hillbilly. The Hillbilly jumps up and yells, "Hey man don't
touch me ...... I'm drawing disability!!!!!"
Submitted by Vicki, Kennitt
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Billy Bob and Luther were
talking one afternoon ...
. . .when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Yuh
know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year
I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took
your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to
Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant. Then two
years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got
pregnant again. Last year you said to go to Tahiti, and darned
if Earline didn't get pregnant again."
Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what
you gonna do this year that's different?"
Billy Bob says, "This year I'm
taking Earline with me!"
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Redneck Jokes, My Little
George W. Bush
was walking through an airport last week ...
when he saw an old man with
white hair, a long white beard, wearing a long white robe, and
holding a staff. He walked up to the man, who was staring at the
ceiling, and said, "Excuse me, sir, aren't you Moses?"
The man stood perfectly still
and continued to stare at the ceiling, saying nothing.
Again, George W asked, a little
louder this time, "Excuse me, sir, but aren't you
Again the old man stared at the
ceiling, motionless, without a word. George W tried a third
time, louder yet. "Excuse me sir, aren't you Moses?"
Again, no movement or words
from the old man. He continued to stare at the ceiling. One of
George W's aides asked him if there was a problem, and George W.
said, "Either this man is deaf or extremely rude. I have
asked him three times if he was Moses, and he has not answered
To which the old man, still
staring at the ceiling finally replied, "I can hear you,
and yes, I am Moses, but the last time I spoke to a BUSH I spent
40 years wandering in the wilderness."
Submitted by Judy,
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