Humor Additions for Monday, February 4

    My Little Sister's Jokes > Recent Addition List 
New jokes posted on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  

Help us build our joke and story bank.
E-mail us at:

One day in Heaven, Saint Peter, Saint Paul, and Saint John were standing around near the horse paddocks, bored, watching the horses frolic.

"I know!" Peter exclaimed. "Why don't we have a horse show?"

"Who are we to compete against, Peter?" Paul asked.

The trio pondered this a moment when Peter said, "We'll invite Satan. I mean, all of the World and National Champion horses are here. His stable is filled with the spoiled, difficult, and mean horses. We're certain to win!"

And so they called up Satan and invited him to their horse show. Satan asked why they would want to be humiliated like that, because he would certainly beat them.

Peter, Paul, and John did not understand. Incredulous, Peter asked, "We have all of the champion horses in heaven! How could you possibly beat us?"

Satan laughed and replied, "Have you forgotten, gentlemen? I have all the judges in hell!"

Submitted by Barb, Unionville, Pa.

Return to: Top of PageList of Horse Jokes, My Little Sister's Jokes,

More Interesting Factoids. Did you know ...

  • It is impossible to lick your elbow.

  • A shrimp's heart is in their head.

  • People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

  • If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. if you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.

  • In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand (or attempted to do so - apart from Bones ).

  • It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

  • A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

  • Between 1937 and 1945 Heinz produced a version of Alphabetic Spaghetti especially for the German market that consisted solely of little pasta swastikas. 

  • More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

  • Rats and horses can't vomit.

  • Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

  • The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

  • Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

  • If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the

  • Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?

  • In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

  • 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks.

  • In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders.

  • Most lipstick contains fish scales. {Huh? I don't want to think about it...}

  • Cat's urine glows under a black-light.

  • Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.

  • Over 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

Submitted by Mike, Golden, Co.

Return to: Top of Page, List of Interesting Facts, My Little Sister's Jokes,

Each year the Washington Post's asks readers to take any word from the dictionary . . .

. . . alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter and supply a new definition. Here are the 2001 winners:

  • Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
  • Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
  • Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
  • Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
  • Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
  • Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
  • Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
  • Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
  • Glibido: All talk and no action.
  • Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you have been smoking marijuana.

And, the pick of the literature:

  • Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an ass

Submitted by Andy, Gettysburg, PA.

Return to: Top of Page, List of Humorous Sayings, My Little Sister's Jokes,

Back to Feb 1 Humor Page