Humor Additions for Monday, September 10th, 2001

    My Little Sister's Jokes > Recent Addition List 

New jokes posted on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Happily maintained  by the Community of Emmitsburg, MD.

Help us build our joke and story bank.
E-mail us at:

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.

"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' rather important to tell ye."

"Of course you can come in. You're always welcome here, Tim." says Brenda. "But where's me husband, Shamus?"

"That's what I'm here to be tellin' ye, Lass. There's been a simply tragic accident down at the Guiness brewery..."

"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me..."

"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is gone. I'm dreadfully sorry, Lass."

Finally, Brenda looks up at Tim and tearfully asks, "Please tell me how it happened, Tim."

"Aw, Lass, it was terrible. Poor Shamus fell into a vat o' Guiness Stout and drowned."

"Oh my Sweet Jesus! But please tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"

"Well, no, Lass... not exactly."


"No, fact is, he got out three times to visit the men's room."

Submitted by Bill, Narberth, Pa.

Return to: Top of Page, List of Ethnic Jokes, My Little Sister's Jokes,

Different Ways to Say You're Not So Bright ...
  • A few clowns short of a circus.
  • A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
  • An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
  • A few beers short of a six-pack.
  • Dumber than a box of hair.
  • A few feathers short of a whole duck.
  • All foam, no beer.
  • Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
  • Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
  • He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
  • An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
  • Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
  • He has an IQ of room temperature.

Return to: Top of Page, List of Humorous Sayings, My Little Sister's Jokes,

Redneck Bubba died in a fire and was burned pretty bad . . .

The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, were called for. Daryl went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet.

Daryl looked and said, "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over." So the mortician rolled him over and Daryl looked and said, "Nope, ain't Bubba."

The mortician thought that was rather strange and he was pretty sure of the body's identity. Gomer was then brought in to identify the body.

Gomer took a look at him and said, "Yup, he's burnt real bad. Roll him over."

The mortician rolled him over and Gomer looked down and said, "Nope, ain't Bubba."

The mortician asked," How can you tell?"

Gomer said," Well, Bubba had two ass."

"What? He had two ass?" asked the mortician.

"Yup, everyone knew about it, too. Every time we went to town, folks would say, "Here comes Bubba with them two ass."

Submitted by Marianne, Columbia, Md.

Return to: Top of Page, List of Redneck Jokes, My Little Sister's Jokes,

Back to September 7 Humor Page