Humor Additions for Friday, September 7th, 2001

    My Little Sister's Jokes > Recent Addition List 

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The wise old Mother Superior was dying.

The nuns gathered around her bed, trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more, then before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.

"Mother, Mother" the nuns cried, "Give us some wisdom before you die!" She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and pointing out the window, she said, "Don't sell that cow!

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Three old sisters -- 92, 94, and 96 years old, respectively all lived together.

One day the oldest drew a bath. She put one foot in the water, paused, and then called downstairs to her sisters, "Am I getting in the tub or out of the tub?"

The middle sister started up the stairs to help, and then paused and called back down stairs, "Was I going up or coming down?"

The youngest sister, who was sitting at the kitchen table having tea, said, "I guess I'll have to help. I hope I never get that forgetful!" and knocked on wood.

She got up then, paused, and called, "I'll come up as soon as I see who's at the door!"

Submitted by Marianne, Columbia, Md.

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More Church Bulletin Bloopers (part 2)
  • Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
  • For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  • Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.
  • Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
  • The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
  • Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 pm --prayer and medication to follow.
  • The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
  • Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
  • The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  • Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
  • The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
  • Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."

Submitted by Neil, Kennett, Square, Pa.

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A couple of Texas hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. 

He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, My friend is dead! What can I do?

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead. There is a silence, then a shot is heard.....

The hunter says, OK, now what?

Submitted by Kevin, Dallas, Tx.

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