Humor Additions for Friday, November 16th, 2001

    My Little Sister's Jokes > Recent Addition List 

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Dr. Cutter is the local Veterinarian, known for his wry humor. 

He surpassed himself one summer day when a city dog was brought to him after an encounter with a porcupine.

After almost an hour of prying, pulling, cutting and stitching, he returned the dog to its owner, who asked what she owed.

"Thirty dollars, Ma'am," he answered.

"Why that's simply outrageous!" she stormed. "That's what's wrong with you Maine people, you're always trying to over charge summer visitors. Whatever do you do in the winter, when we're not being gypped here?"

He quickly replied, "Raise porcupines, Ma'am."

Submitted by Dr. Gary, Emmitsburg, Md.

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Ten Signs Your Co-Worker Is A Computer Hacker:
  • You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000.
  • He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes three years running.
  • When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.
  • Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.
  • Somehow he/she gets HBO on his PC at work.
  • Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeez" 95 times during the movie "The Net"
  • Massive RRSP contribution made in half-cent increments.
  • Video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among turn-ons
  • When his computer starts up, you hear, "Good Morning, Mr. President."
  • You hear him murmur, "Let's see you use that Visa card now, jerk."

Submitted by Marion, Haverford, Pa.

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A man went into the proctologist's office for his first exam.

The doctor told him to have a seat. In the examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes. When the man sat down and began observing the tools he noticed there were three items on a stand next to the exam table. 

A tube of K-Y jelly; A rubber glove; and A beer.

When the doctor finally came in the man said, "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?"

At that the doctor became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the the door. The doc flung the door open and yelled to his nurse.......

Dam it Helen! I said a BUTT LIGHT

Submitted by Mike, Broomfield, Co.

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