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Dr. Cutter is the
local Veterinarian, known for his wry humor.
He surpassed himself
one summer day when a city dog was brought to him after an
encounter with a porcupine.
After almost an hour of prying,
pulling, cutting and stitching, he returned the dog to its owner,
who asked what she owed.
"Thirty dollars,
Ma'am," he answered.
"Why that's simply
outrageous!" she stormed. "That's what's wrong with you
Maine people, you're always trying to over charge summer visitors.
Whatever do you do in the winter, when we're not being gypped
here?"
He quickly replied, "Raise
porcupines, Ma'am."
Submitted by Dr. Gary,
Emmitsburg, Md.
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Ten Signs Your
Co-Worker Is A Computer Hacker:
- You ticked him off once and
your next phone bill was $20,000.
- He's won the Publisher's
Clearing House sweepstakes three years running.
- When asked for his phone
number, he gives it in hex.
- Seems strangely calm whenever
the office LAN goes down.
- Somehow he/she gets HBO on his
PC at work.
- Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeez"
95 times during the movie "The Net"
- Massive RRSP contribution made
in half-cent increments.
- Video dating profile lists
"public-key encryption" among turn-ons
- When his computer starts up,
you hear, "Good Morning, Mr. President."
- You hear him murmur,
"Let's see you use that Visa card now, jerk."
Submitted by Marion,
Haverford, Pa.
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A man went into the
proctologist's office for his first exam.
The doctor told him to have a
seat. In the examination room and that he would be with him in
just a few minutes. When the man sat down and began observing the
tools he noticed there were three items on a stand next to the
exam table.
A tube of K-Y jelly; A rubber
glove; and A beer.
When the doctor finally
came in the man said, "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This
is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the
glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?"
At that the doctor became
noticeably outraged and stormed over to the the door. The doc
flung the door open and yelled to his nurse.......
Dam it Helen! I said a BUTT LIGHT
Submitted by Mike, Broomfield,
Co.
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