• She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she is very hot in bed at night.
• Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side, for over a year.
• On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
• The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears depressed.
• The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
• Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
• Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
• The patient refused autopsy.
• The patient has no previous history of suicide.
• Patient's medical history has been insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days.
• Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
• She is numb from her toes down.
• While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
• The skin was moist and dry.
• Occasional constant infrequent headaches.
• Patient was alert and unresponsive.
• Rectal examination revealed a normal-size thyroid.
• She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
• I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
• Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circusized.
• The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
• Patient was to have bowel resection, but took a job as stockbroker instead.
• Skin: somewhat pale but present.
• The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
• Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.

. . . and concerned about his mortality, goes to consult a psychic about the date of his death.

Closing her eyes and silently reaching into the realm of the future, she finds the answer:

"You will die on an American holiday."

"Which one," bin Laden asks, nervously.

"It makes no difference," she replied. "Whenever you die, it will be an American holiday."