A devoted wife was taking care of her husband,
who had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months.
When he came to his senses, he motioned for
her to come near. "You have been with me
through all the bad times," he said.
"When I got fired, you were there. When my
business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you stayed by my
side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health
started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"
"What dear?" she asked gently.
"I think you bring me bad luck."
Submitted by Larry, Walkersville,
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Jokes About Marriage, My Little
Things Said in
- "I'll tell you one thing,
if things keep going the way they are, its' going to be impossible
to buy a weeks groceries for $20."
- "Have you seen the new
cars coming out next year? It won't be long when $5000 will only buy
a used one."
- "If cigarettes keep going
up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is
- "Did you hear the post
office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a
- "The Government is
wanting to get its hands on everything. Pretty soon it's going to be
impossible to run a family business or farm."
- "If they raise the
minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the
- "When I first started
driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 50 cents a
gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the
- "Kids today are
impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay
groomed. Next thing you know, boys will bewearing their hair as long
as the girls."
- "Also, their music drives
me wild. This 'Rock Around The Clock' thing is nothing but
- "I'm afraid to send my
kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by
with saying 'damn' in 'Gone With The Wind,' it seems every movie has
a 'hell' or a 'damn' in it."
- "Also, it won't be long
until couples are sleeping in the same bed in the movies. What is
this world coming to?"
- "Marilyn Monroe is now
showing her bra and panties, so apparently there are no standards
- "Pretty soon you won't be
able to buy a good 10 cent cigar."
- "I read the other day
where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon
by the end of the of the century. They even have some fellows they
call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas."
- "Did you see where some
baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to
play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more
than the president."
- "Do you suppose
television will ever reach our part of the country?"
- "I never thought I'd see
the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even
making electric typewriters now."
- "It's too bad things are
so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to
work to make ends meet."
- "It won't be long before
young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids
so they can both work."
- "Marriage doesn't mean a
thing anymore, Those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at
the drop of a hat."
- " I'll tell you one
thing. If my kid ever talks back to me, they won't be able to sit
down for a week."
- "Did you know the new
church in town is allowing women to wear slacks to their
- "Next thing you know is,
the government will start paying us not to grow crops."
- "I'm just afraid the
Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign
- "Thank goodness I won't
live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in
taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to
- "Why in the world would
you want to send your daughter to college? Isn't she going to get
married? It would be different if she could be a doctor or a
- "I just hate to see the
young people smoking. As I tell my kids, "Don't take a cigarette
from ANYONE. You never know what might be in it."
- The drive-in restaurant
is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever
- "There is no sense going
to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $15 a
night to stay in a hotel."
- "Anymore no one can
afford to be sick, $35 a day in the hospital is too rich for my
- "If a few idiots want to
risk their necks flying across the country that's fine, but nothing
will ever replace trains."
- "I don't know about you
but if they raise the price of coffee to 15 cents, I'll just have to
drink mine at home."
- "If they think I'll pay
50 cents for a hair cut, forget it. I'll have my wife learn to cut
- "We won't be going out
much anymore. Our baby sitter informed us she wants 50 cents an
hour. Kids think money grows on trees."
- "Cars which dim their
lights by sensors, automatic transmissions, and who knows what else?
Pretty soon they will drive themselves."
- No it wasn't so long
Submitted by Wendy,
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of Interesting Facts, My Little
An elderly Jewish woman decided to have her
She told the the artist, "Paint me with
diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby
broach, and Rolex."
"But you are not wearing any of those things."
"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die
before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want
his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry."
Submitted by Jamie, Crofton,
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A 92 year old man went to the doctor to get a
A few days later, the doctor saw the man
walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his
At his follow up visit, the doctor talked to
the man and said, "You're really doing great, aren't
The man replied, "Just doing what you said
Doctor:' Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"
The Doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said
you've got a heart murmur. Be careful!
Submitted by Andy, Gettysburg,
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About Aging, My Little
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