Humor Selections for January 6, 2006

     My Little Sister's Jokes > Recent Addition List

New jokes posted on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Happily maintained  by the Community of Emmitsburg, MD.

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Did I read that sign correctly?
  • Toilet out of order. Please use floor below
  • In a Laundromat: Automatic washing machines: Please remove all your clothes when the light Goes out
  • In a London department store: Bargain basement upstairs
  • In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken
  • In an office: After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the Draining board
  • Outside a secondhand shop: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines, etc. why not bring your wife Along and get a wonderful bargain?
  • Notice in health food shop window: Closed due to illness
  • Spotted in a safari park: Elephants please stay in your car
  • Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the 1st floor
  • Notice in a farmer's field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
  • Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons
  • On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)

Submitted by Lindsey, Melbourne, Australia

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The old man ordered one hamburger, one order of French Fries and one drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the French Fries, dividing them into two piles

and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink,

his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.

As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them kept looking over and whispering. You could tell they were thinking, "That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table. He politely

offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything. The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink. Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."

As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single

bite of food and asked "What is it you are waiting for?" She answered....

"The Teeth"

Submitted by Bill, Narberth, Pa.

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"Working Where the Sun Don't Shine"  Written by the Canadian duo Bowser and Blue

We praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don't shine

Respect the colorectal surgeon
It's a calling few would crave
Lift up your hands and join us
Let's all do the finger wave

When it comes to spreading joy
There are many techniques
Some spread joy to the world
And others just spread cheeks
Some may think the cardiologist Is their best friend
But the colorectal surgeon knows... He'll get you in the end!

Why the colorectal surgeon?
It's one of those mysterious things.
Is it because in that profession
There are always openings?

When I first met a colorectal surgeon
He did not quite understand;
I said, "Hey nice to meet you
But do you mind? We don't shake hands."

He sailed right through medical school
Because he was a whiz
Oh but he never thought of psychology
Though he read passages
A doctor he wanted to be
For golf he loved to play
But this is not quite what he meant...
By eighteen holes a day!

Praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don't shine!

Download video of Bowser and Blue singing this song

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Jan 4th, Humor Page