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Bubba & Betty sue had lived
together in the backwoods for over fifty years.
To celebrate their fiftieth
anniversary, he took her to a large city and they checked into a
plush hotel. She said to the bellman, "We refuse to settle for
such a small room. No windows, no bed, and no air conditioning."
"But, madam!", replied the
bellman.
"Don't 'But madam' me," she
continued. "You can't treat us like we're a couple of fools just
because we don't travel much, and we've never been to the big
city, and never spent the night at a hotel. I'm going to complain
to the manager."
"Madam," the bellman said, "this
isn't your room; this is the elevator!"
Submitted by Al, Seattle, Wa.
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Redneck Jokes, My Little
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Amy, a blonde city girl, marries
a farmer. One morning...
... before he goes out to the fields, the
farmer says to her, "The artificial insemination man is coming to
impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the
two-by-four above the cow's stall. You show him where it is,
okay?"
So the farmer leaves for the fields, and a
while later, the artificial insemination man arrives. Amy takes
him down the long row of cows until she sees the nail, and tells
him, "This is the one. This one right here!"
Terribly impressed, the man asks, "How did
you know this is the cow to be bred?"
"By the nail over its stall," Amy
explains.
Then the man asks, "What's the nail for?"
"I guess it's to hang your pants on," she
tells him as she walks away.
Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, Md.
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Two bees met in a field. One said to the other, "How are things
going?" "Really bad," said
the second bee. "The weather has been cold, wet, and damp, and
there aren't any flowers, so I can't make honey."
"No problem," said the first bee. "Just
fly down five blocks and turn left. Keep going until you see all
the cars. There's a Bar Mitzvah going on and there are all kinds
of fresh flowers and fresh fruit."
"Thanks for the tip," said the second bee,
and flew away.
A few hours later the two bees ran into
each other again. The first bee asked, "How'd it go?"
"Great!" said the second bee. "It was
everything you said it would be. There was plenty of fruit and,
oh, such huge floral arrangements on every table."
"Uh, what's that thing on your head?"
asked the first bee.
"That's my yarmulke," said the second bee.
"I didn't want them to think I was a wasp."
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Sept
24th Humor Page
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