Humor Additions for November 5th 2004

    My Little Sister's Jokes > Recent Addition List

New jokes posted on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Happily maintained  by the Community of Emmitsburg, MD.

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You Know You're From Maryland When ...
  • You know more than 10 people who own boats and they all park them at the same marina in Annapolis
  • 1 hour is an easy commute to work
  • You have more than three recipies for crabcakes
  • French fries just don't taste right without Old Bay
  • There are more than two crab places in your town
  • Even your high school cafeteria made good crabcakes
  • You got your first lacrosse stick before you were six years old
  • You call all turtles "terrapins"
  • You refer to your state as "Merlind"
  • Your mother shops at Hecht's
  • You still call Six Flags America "Adventure World", or even >"Wild World"
  • You can tell the difference between the smells of septic and marsh
  • You not only know how to eat hard crabs but you also know how to catch them, >cook them and tell the males from the females.
  • You don't think that Assawoman Bay is a strange name for a body of water.
  • You know perfectly well why Rehoboth is called "Little San Francisco."
  • M R Ducks makes perfect sense. So does C M Wangs.
  • You think Salisbury is a big city.
  • You think of dumplings as wet slippery squares of boiled dough
  • You and your boss take off of work when the fish are running or the ducks are flying in.
  • You think of "Dairy Queen" as a pageant title and not a place to get an ice cream.
  • "Formal wear" is a ball cap, a flannel shirt and Timberlands.
  • You still root for the Orioles even when they suck
  • You'll never understand why tourists come to DC.
  • When in Florida, you can only laugh when you see signs saying
  • "Real Maryland Blue Crab Cakes!"
  • You color with "Crowns", take a "Share" with "Wooter" and think the president lives in "Warshenton."
  • You know the difference between Glen Burnie ghetto and Catonsville ghetto.
  • Your whole family lives within a 200 mile radius of your town.
  • At least one man in your family is a waterman
  • You plan for "The Festival" a year in advance.
  • During the summer, you spend more time in Ocean City than at home
  • Your radio dial is stuck on 99.1
  • You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Maryland.

Submitted by Dick Williamsport, Md.

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A man, his wife and mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land.

While they were there the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker told them, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.00."

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and spend only $150.00?"

The man replied, "A man died here 2000 years ago, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead.

I just can't take that chance."

Submitted by Andy, Gettysburg, Pa.

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Two blonde pilots are trying to land an airplane.

They start descending and as they touch the ground the one blonde screams to the other blonde, "Bambi, pull up, the runaway is ending!"

She swiftly gets the plane back up in the air. They make a big turn and start descending again.

The moment they touch the ground, the first blonde screams again, "Get the plane up, Bambi, the runaway is ending!"

The second blonde swiftly gets the plane back up in the air. They make a big turn and start descending again. This goes on again and again...

During their fourth descent the second pilot says, "This is so dumb, Candi, they build this huge and expensive airport but with such a short runaway."

"I know," answers Candi, "But look how wide they made it!"

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New map of the USA - Jesusland

Nov 3rd Humor Page