There were two
Roman Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy
and Antonio Secola ...
... whose lives
paralleled each other in amazing ways.
In the same year Timothy was born in
Ireland, Antonio was born in Italy.
Faithfully, they attended parochial
school from kindergarten through their
senior year in High School.
their vows to enter the priesthood
early in college, and upon graduation
became priests. Their priestly careers
have come to amaze the world, but it
was generally acknowledged that
Antonio was just a cut above Timothy
in all respects. Their rise through
the ranks of Bishop, Archbishop, and
finally Cardinal was meteoric to say
the least, and the Catholic world knew
that when the present Pope died, it
would be either Timothy or Antonio who
would become the next Pope.
In time the
Pope did die, and the College of
Cardinals went to work. In less time
than anyone expected smoke rose from
the chimney and the world waited to
see who they had chosen.
Catholic, Protestant and secular, was
surprised to learn that Timothy Murphy
had been elected Pope. Antonio was
beyond surprise, he was devastated
because, even with all Timothy's
giftedness, Antonio knew he was the
With a gall
that shocked the Cardinals, Antonio
asked for a private session with them
in which he candidly asked, "Why
silence one old Cardinal took pity on
the bewildered Antonio and rose to
reply, "We knew you were the better of
the two, but we just could not bear
the thought of the leader of the Roman
Catholic Church being called Pope
by Sr. Wink, The Bronx, Ny.
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Jokes, My Little
The coach had put together the
perfect team for the Baltimore Ravens ...
The only thing that was
missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges
and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a
ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a
war-zone scene in Afghanistan. In one corner of the background, he
spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm.
He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards
away, right into a chimney.
Then he threw another at a passing car
going 90 mph.
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to
himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and
teaches him the great game of football. And the Ravens go on to
win the Super Bowl. The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero
of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the
young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won
the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you, the old
Muslim woman says. "You deserted us. You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother,"
the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the
world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts.
"At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The
neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten
within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your
sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady
pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for
making us move to Baltimore!
Submited by Dick, Williamsport,
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Un-Categorizable Jokes, My Little
A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a
When he got home from tending to all the
sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a
romantic candle-lit dinner.
They had a few more drinks and went
happily to bed.
At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone
"Is this the vet?" asked an elderly lady's
"Yes, it is", replied the vet, "Is this an
"Well, sort of", said the elderly lady,
"there's a whole bunch of cats on the roof outside making a
terrible noise mating and I can't get to sleep. What can I do
There was a sharp intake of breath from
the vet, who then patiently replied, "Open the window and tell
them they're wanted on the phone"
"Really?" said the elderly lady, "Will
that stop them?"
"it should," said the vet, it Stopped Me!"
Submitted by Andy, Gettysburg, Pa.
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about Work, My
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Finally, the technical explanation all
male strive to achieve.....
understanding women take 3
Feb 2nd Humor Page