Humor Additions for April 28th, 2004

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Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob said ..

... "Ya' know sumthin', Luther,I reckon I'm 'bout ready fur a vacation, only this time I'm gonna' do it little different this time.

"'Last few years," he said, "I took yur advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii, and Earline got pregnant.

Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got pregnant again.

Last year you suggested Tahiti, and durned if Earline didn't get pregnant again." "I ain't gonna do THAT agin."

Luther asked Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna' do this year that's differnt?"

Billy Bob replied, "This year I'm taking Earline with me."

Submitted by Pat, Blue Lake, Va.

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A husband booked a round of golf for his wife and himself on a trip ...

... to famous old St. Andrews golf links.

On the third tee, the husband hesitated in teeing off and turned slowly to his wife and said contritely, "Darling, I have to confess something. Twenty years ago I had a brief affair. It meant nothing. I hope you can forgive me."

His wife was hurt but said, "Dearest, those days are long gone. What we have now is far more valuable. I forgive you." They embraced and kissed.

On the seventeenth tee, the husband was starting his back swing when the wife blurted out, "I'm sorry darling, I've been so conscience-stricken since you told me, but since we're being honest with each other, I have something to tell you also. Fifty-two years ago I had a sex change operation, I was a man before I met you. I hope you can forgive me.

The husband, froze at the top of his back swing, then threw a fit! He slammed the driver into the ground, kicked the ball into the woods, stormed off the tee, pushed the golf cart over on its side, broke the rest of his clubs one by one, then started on hers.

He screamed and ranted, "You liar ... you cheat, you despicable deceiver! How could you? I trusted you with all my heart and soul...and all these years you've been playing off the ladies tees!"

Submitted by Don, Hagerstown, Md.

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Interesting word/phrase origins - Take 2

In the late 1700s, many houses consisted of a large room with only one chair.

Commonly, a long wide board was folded down from the wall and used for dining. The "head of the household" always sat in the chair while everyone else ate sitting on the floor.

Once in a while, a guest (who was almost always a man) would be invited to sit in this chair during a meal. To sit in the chair meant you were important and in charge. Sitting in the chair, one was called the "chair man". Today in business we use the expression or title "Chairman or Chairman of the Board".

Submitted by Dolly, Myersville, MD.

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