|One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine ...
... when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
Why are you eating grass? he asked one man.
We don't have any money for food, the poor man replied.
Oh, well, you can come with me to my house, instructed the lawyer.
But, sir, I have a wife and two children with me!
Bring them along! replied the lawyer.
He turned to the other man and said: You come with us, too.
But, sir, I have a wife and six children! the second man answered.
Bring them as well! answered the lawyer as he headed for his limo.
They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows says: Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.
The lawyer replied: Glad to do it. You'll love my place; the Grass is almost a foot tall!
Submitted by Vicki, Kennett Square, Pa.
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|Brain teasers that will make you groan ...
- A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the
third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
- A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a
wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
- There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and still tell which water
came from which jug?
- What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?
- Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?
- This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In
fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.
- The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.
- The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.
- Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the ice in the barrel. You will be able to tell which water came from which jug.
- The answer is Charcoal.
- Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!
- The letter "e," which is the most common letter in the English language, does not appear once in the long paragraph.
Submitted by Bill, Narberth, PA.
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|Mexican authorities have released details of an attempted terrorist attack on Mexico ...
... that was also to have been carried out on 9/11/01. The terrorists' attempts were thwarted and many lives were saved.
Mexico's intelligence agency uncovered a plot to fly an Aeromexico jet into the Torre Latina in Mexico City on September 11, sources told La Jornada. According to one
source, the Terrorists failed to carry out their nefarious deed for a number of reasons. The following is a timeline of events:
Sunday, September 9, 13:25 hrs: The two terrorists arrive at Benito Juarez Airport. They board a taxi and head downtown. Taxi cab breaks down two miles from the hotel
after being stuck in traffic for two hours. Terrorists board a second taxi. The driver turns out to be a "pirata." He takes them to La Neza, Mexico City's infamous neighborhood. The taxi
driver's cronies assault the terrorists and steal their luggage. It is presumed that the terrorists' boxcutters were resold on the black market.
Monday, September 10, 01:23 hrs: Exhausted, the terrorists finally arrive at hotel. Spend the rest of the morning on the toilet. Witnesses told police they saw the two
men eating tacos and raspados from a street vender a few blocks away from the hotel. "We thank Montezuma for his help in this matter," said one investigator.
Monday, September 10, 21:34 hrs: Dehydrated but still committed to their mission, terrorists meet with local contact, who hands them a pair of boxcutters. "Hey!" said
one terrorist. "This is my boxcutter! Look, these are my initials!" Under questioning by local authorities, the local contact claims he bought the boxcutters from a street vender in La Neza.
Tuesday, September 11, 08:00 hrs: Terrorists arrive at Benito Juarez Airport. Mexicana and Aeromexico airline mechanics are on strike. All flights are cancelled or
delayed. Demonstrators block the runways and loot the airport stores.
Tuesday, September 11, 11:35 hrs: Terrorists finally return to hotel. They decide to blow up the Torre Latina with dynamite. Local contact finds large sticks of
dynamite for $100,000. Terrorists order wire transfer from Yemen. They never get their money. Later that day, the money mysteriously appeared in the bank manager's briefcase. "We are
investigating this matter fully," said Bancomer president. "But so far our hunch is that we have a hero on our hands." Mexican newspapers are reporting that the bank manager became suspicious
of the two Arab looking men and held on to the money. He says he tried to call police, but the phones were down. TelMex denies any wrongdoing, but hailed the bank manager's good sense. The
whereabouts of the money is still unknown.
Tuesday, September 11, 21:56 hrs: Terrorists obtain funds from local thug. They buy the dynamite and head for the Torre Latina. They park their rented vehicle outside
the Torre and enter the basement to inspect where to place the dynamite. Upon returning to the car, they find the windows have been smashed, the stereo stolen, and the dynamite nowhere in
sight. A child appears and asks terrorists if they would like to buy fireworks for the upcoming independence day festivities. Child shows them the dynamite. "That's our dynamite!" one
terrorist exclaims in broken Spanish. Child bursts out laughing. "Dinamita?" he squeals. "Que Pendejos."
Tuesday, September 11, 23:59 hrs: Terrorists jump off or are thrown off the balcony of their hotel room. Local authorities are investigating. One newspaper attributes
the heroic deed to Super Barrio, the masked defender of the poor. Others suspect terrorists became so enamored by the warmth and hospitality of the Mexican people that they could not bring
themselves to carry out such an atrocious deed. One witness says he heard one of the terrorists shout in broken Spanish, "Hijos de la chingada!" as he plunged to his death. Experts in suicide
suggest that the terrorist was referring to his cronies back in Afghanistan.
Wednesday, September 12, 08:00 hrs: Mexican president assures the Mexican people in a nationally televised address that his government is prepared to handle any
contingency. "Make no mistake about it," he said. "Terrorists will not succeed here. Viva Mexico!"
Submitted by Marianne, Columbia, Md.
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