A teacher was giving
a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter
clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the
blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I
am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't
run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause yer feet ain't empty."
The children had all been
photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to
buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will
be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's
Jennifer; she's a lawyer, 'or' That's Michael. He's a doctor.' A
small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And There's
the teacher. She's dead."
An honest seven- year- old
admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her
"How did that happen?"
gasped her mother.
"It wasn't easy,"
admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch
A Sunday school teacher was
discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor thy Father and thy
Mother," she asked, "is there a commandment that teaches
us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a
beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou
shall not kill."
For weeks, a six- year old lad
kept telling his first- grade teacher about the baby brother or
sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed
the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six- year
old was obviously impressed, but he made no comment. Furthermore,
he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.
The teacher finally sat the boy
on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever has become of that baby
brother or sister you were expecting at home?"
Tommy burst into tears and
confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!
Submitted by Marianne,
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Sayings, My Little
What I learned in
- The Jews were a proud people
and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic
- The Egyptians were all drowned
in the dessert.
- Afterwards, Moses went up on
Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments.
- The first commandment was when
Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
- The seventh commandment is
thou shalt not admit adultery.
- Moses died before he ever
- Then Joshua led the Hebrews in
the battle of Geritol.
- David was a Hebrew king
skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the
- Finklesteins, a race of people
who lived in Biblical times.
- Solomon, one of David's sons,
had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
- Jesus was born because Mary
had immaculate contraption.
- Jesus enunciated the Golden
Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to
- It was a miracle when Jesus
rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the
- The epistles were the wives of
- St. Paul cavorted to
Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name
Submitted by Dave, Bolder, Co.
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Jokes, My Little
Taps. It's the song
that gives us that lump in our throats and usually creates tears
in our eyes.
But, do you know the story behind the song? If not, I
think you will be pleased to find out about its humble beginnings.
Reportedly, it all began in 1862
during the Civil War, when Union Army Captain Robert Ellicombe was
with his men near Harrison's Landing in Virginia. The Confederate
Army was on the other side of the narrow strip of land. During the
night, Captain Ellicombe heard the moans of a soldier who lay
severely wounded on the field. Not knowing if it was a Union or a
Confederate soldier, the captain decided to risk his life and
bring the stricken man back for medical attention. Crawling on his
stomach through the gunfire, the captain reached the stricken
soldier and began pulling him toward his encampment. When the
captain finally reached his own lines, he discovered it was
actually a Confederate soldier, but the soldier was dead.
The captain lit a lantern and
suddenly caught his breath and went numb with shock. In the dim
light, he saw the face of the soldier. It was his own son. The boy
had been studying music in the South when the war broke out.
Without telling his father, the boy enlisted in the Confederate
Army. The following morning, heartbroken, the father asked
permission of his superiors to give his son a full military burial
despite his enemy status.
His request was only partially
granted. The captain had asked if he could have a group of Army
band members play a funeral dirge for his son at the funeral. The
request was turned down since the soldier was a Confederate. But,
out of respect for the father, they did say they could give him
only one musician. The Captain chose a bugler. He asked the bugler
to play a series of musical notes he had found on a piece of paper
in! the pocket of the dead youth's uniform. This wish was granted.
The haunting melody, we now know as "Taps" used at
military funerals, was born.
I, too, have felt the chills
while listening to "Taps" but I have never seen all the
words to the song until now. I didn't even know there was more
than one verse. I also never knew the story behind the song and I
didn't know if any of you had either so I thought I'd pass it
along. I now have an even deeper respect for the song than I did
Submitted by Andy, Gettysburg,
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