At 5 I learned our dog doesn't want to eat my
- At 7 I learned when I wave to people in the country, they
stop what they are doing and wave back.
- At 9 I learned just when I get my room the way I like it,
Mom makes me clean it up again.
- At 12 I learned if you want to cheer yourself up, you should
try cheering someone else up.
- At 14 I learned although it's hard to admit it, I'm secretly
glad my parents are strict with me.
- At 15 I learned silent company is often more healing than
words of advice.
- At 24 I learned brushing my child's hair is one of life's
- At 26 I learned wherever I go, the world's worst drivers
have followed me there.
- At 29 I learned if someone says something unkind about me, I
must live so that no one will believe it.
- At 30 I learned there are people who love you dearly but
just don't know how to show it.
- At 42 I learned you can make some one's day by simply
sending them a little note.
- At 44 I learned the greater a person's sense of guilt, the
greater his or her need to cast blame on others.
- At 46 I learned children and grandparents are natural
- At 47 I learned no matter what happens, or how bad it seems
today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
- At 48 I learned singing "Amazing Grace" can lift
my spirits for hours.
- At 49 I learned motel mattresses are better on the side away
from the phone.
- At 50 I learned you can tell a lot about a man by the way he
handles these three things I learned a rainy day, lost
luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
- At 51 I learned keeping a vegetable garden is worth a
medicine cabinet full of pills.
- At 52 I learned regardless of your relationship with your
parents, you miss them terribly after they die.
- At 53 I learned making a living is not the same thing as
making a life.
- At 58 I learned if you want to do something positive for
your children, work to improve your marriage.
- At 61 I learned life sometimes gives you a second chance.
- At 62 I learned you shouldn't go through life with a
catchers mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw
- At 64 I learned if you pursue happiness, it will elude you.
But if you focus on your family, the needs of others, your
work, meeting new people, and doing! the very best you can,
happiness will find you.
- At 65 I learned whenever I decide something with kindness, I
usually make the right decision.
- At 66 I learned everyone can use a prayer.
- At 72 I learned it pays to believe in miracles. And to tell
the truth, I've seen several.
- At 75 I learned even when I have pains, I don't have to be
- At 82 I learned every day you should reach out and touch
- At love that human touch-holding hands, a warm hug, or just
a friendly pat on the back.
- At 90 I learned I still have a lot to learn.
- At 92 I learned you should pass this on to someone you care
about. Sometimes they just need a little something to make
Submitted by Mike, Broomfield, Co.
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of Inspirational Jokes, My Little
The woman entered the
room, and with a knowing smile teasing her full lips . . .
. . . she sank into the comfort
of the plush chair in the corner. The handsome stranger turned,
having sensed her approach. Locking his steely gray eyes on hers,
he moved slowly toward her, his experienced gaze measuring her,
hypnotizing her with his soft murmurs of assurance.
He sank to his knees before her
and without a word, smoothly released her from her constraining
attire. With a sigh of surrender, she allowed his foreign hands to
unleash her bare flesh. He expertly guided her through this
tender, new territory, boldly taking her to heights she had never
dared to dream of, his movements deliberate, confident in his
ability to satisfy her every need. Her senses swam. She was
overcome with an aching desire that had gone unfulfilled for so
And, just as it seemed that
ecstasy was within her grasp, he paused, and for one
heart-stopping moment, she thought, "It's too big! - it will
Then, with a sudden rush, it slid
into place as if it had been made only for her. As pleasure and
contentment washed over her, she met his steady gaze, tears of
gratitude shining in her eyes. And he knew it wouldn't be long
before she returned. Oh, yes, this woman would want more. She
would want to do it again and again and again...
Don't Ya Just Love Shopping for
And what were you thinking?
Submitted by Vicki, Kennet
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