Humor Additions for Friday, November 2nd, 2001

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Three men are sitting naked in the sauna.

Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."

A few minutes later a phone rings. The second man lifts his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."

The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna. In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear. The others raise their eyebrows.

"I'm getting a Fax," he explains.

Submitted by Mike, Broomfield, Co.

The Best T-Shirts of Summer, 2001 (Part 2) - Bob Levey, The Washington Post
  • "Guys Have Feelings, Too. But Like, Who Cares?"
  • "Re-Elect Gore in 2004"
  • "I Can Only Be Nice to One Person Today -- Today Is Not Your Day -- Tomorrow
  • Doesn't Look Good, Either"
  • "All I Ask Is a Chance to Prove That Money Can't Make Me Happy"
  • "If God Had Meant for Me to Touch My Toes, He Would Have Put Them on My
  • Knees"
  • "He Who Dies With the Most Toys Wins -- But He Still Dies"
  • "Look Out Behind You -- The Lemmings Are Gaining"
  • "Welcome to Kentucky -- Set Your Watch Back 20 Years"
  • "Practice Safe Food -- Use Condiments"
  • "Five Out of Four People Don't Understand Fractions"
  • "If You Wish to Be Young Again, Remember Algebra"
  • "Men and Women Are From Earth -- Deal With It"
  • "I'm Not Fat -- I'm Just Fluffy"
  • "Our Lady of Perpetual Mood Swings"
  • "I Chose the Road Less Traveled -- Now Where the Heck Am I?"
  • "I Hope My Ship Comes In Before My Dock Rots"
  • "Yes, It's Lonely at the Top -- But I Eat a Lot Better Than You"
  • "Hugs Are Fully Returnable"
  • (Aboard a pregnant woman) "When You're In Love, It Shows"
  • "Bless Grandmothers! -- They Minimize Our Failures and Magnify Our Successes"
  • "Next Time You Think You're So Smart, Try Walking on Water"
  • "A Woman Needs Four Animals in Her Life -- A Mink on Her Back, a Jaguar in er Garage, a Tiger in Her Bed and a Jackass to Pay for It All"
  • "And You're Telling Me This Because . . . "
  • "I'm in Shape -- Round Is a Shape"
  • "Life Is Uncertain -- Eat Dessert First"
  • "The Weather Is Here -- Wish You Were Beautiful!"
  • "Chaos! Panic! Disorder! My Work Here Is Done!"
  • (Aboard a mother who was squiring two children around) "Touch Nothing, and Don't Ask for Anything"

Read Part 1 of The Best T-Shirts of Summer, 2001

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