Predictable Mom

• Eat your vegetables, they're good for you.
• I can always tell when you're lying.
• If God had wanted you to have holes in your ears (… tongue, eyebrows...) He would have put them there!
• If you could stay out last night, you can get up this morning.
• If you're too full to finish your dinner, you're too full for dessert.
• If you're too sick to go to school, you're too sick to play outside.
• When you have kids of your own you'll understand.
• When you have your own house then you can make the rules!
• It's no use crying over spilt milk.
• You won't be happy until you break that, will you?
• Beds are NOT made for jumping on.
• Cupcakes are NOT a breakfast food!
• Go play outside! It's a beautiful day!
• Always wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident.
• If you don't learn how to cook, no one is going to want to marry you.
• You're the oldest. You should know better.
• You can't find it? Well, where did you leave it last?
• Someone is going to end up crying.
• Go to your room and think about what you did!
• The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
• When I was a little girl...

Nagging Mom

• Clean up after yourself!
• Did you brush your teeth?
• Did you clean your room?
• Did you comb your hair?
• Did you flush?
• Do your homework!
• Is your homework finished?
• Isn't it past your bedtime?
• Ok, but first take out the garbage.
• Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?
• Wipe your feet!
• You made your bed, now lie in it.
• Don't talk with your mouth full!
• Be good.
• You could have called.

Lazy Mom

• Ask your Father.
• Don't ask me WHY. The answer is NO.
• Don't make me come in there!
• Don't make me get up!
• Don't run in the house.
• Enough is enough!
• How many times do I have to tell you?
• I don't care what all the other kids get to do.
• I don't have to explain myself. I said no.
• I'm going to give you until the count of three...
• I'm not going to ask you again.
• No.
• I didn't ask who put it there, I said "Pick it up!"
• You can't find it? Well, I can't find it for you I'm not the maid!
• Who died and left you boss?
• When did your last slave die?
• Pick that up before somebody trips on it and breaks their neck!
• Are your hands broken? Pick it up yourself! I'm not your maid!
• Do you think your socks are going to pick themselves up?
• No, I don't know where your socks are, its not my day to watch them!
• You can't find it? Well, if you'd put things where they belonged, you wouldn't have this problem.
• Nobody asked you.

Confused Mom

• Who do you think you are?
• Who do you think you're talking to?
• Do you think I'm made of money?
• Who said life was going to be easy?
• Am I talking to a brick wall?
• All I do is follow you around, picking up after you like some maid.
• A little "birdy" told me!
• I'm not your cleaning lady!
• I'm not your maid!
• I'm not your waitress!
• No child of MINE would do something like that.
• Stop acting like your father!
• What did I say the FIRST time?
• At work my mind's on the children, at home I think of the office.
• You’re just like your father.
• Are you deaf or something?
• What part of NO don't you understand?

Chicken Mom

• Be careful!
• Call me when you get there, just so I know you're okay.
• Going to a party? Leave a phone number in case I need to call.
• Going to a party? Who's going to be there?
• Going to a party? Will the parents be home?
• I would have never talked to MY mother like that!
• Do not put that in your mouth; you do not know where it has been!
• Put that down! You don't know where it's been!
• You can't start the day on an empty stomach.

Selfish Mom

• I don't buy snacks to feed the neighbourhood!
• I hope you don't kiss me with that mouth!
• I just want what's best for you.
• If I want your opinion I'll ask for it!
• If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.
• I'm not always going to be around to do these things for you.
• Don't stay up too late!
• Do what I say, not what I do.
• I'm not running a taxi service.
• You don't always get what you want. It's a hard lesson, but you might as well learn it now.
• Just wait until we get home.
• Shut the door! I'm not heating the entire neighbourhood!
• So it's raining? You're not sugar -you won't melt.
• So what if Sally's mom let her do it? If Sally's mom let her jump off the Empire State Building, would you want me to let you do it too?
• Why? Because I SAID so, that's why!
• You must think rules are made to be broken.
• I don't care who started it, I said stop!
• Money does NOT grow on trees.
• This hurts me more than it hurts you.

Exaggerator Mom

• Eat everything on your plate. There are starving children all over the world who would be glad to trade places with you.
• How can you have nothing to wear? Your closet is FULL of clothes!
• Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back.
• If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times.
• Life isn't fair.
• Look at this room! It looks like a pigsty!
• There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.
• There's enough dirt in those ears to grow potatoes!
• This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.
• Turn off that light. Do you think we own the electric company?
• Well, people in Hell want ice water too!
• When I was young we had respect for our elders, now look at the world!
• When I was your age, I had to walk ten miles through the snow, uphill, by myself, to go to school.
• You kids are trying to drive me crazy!
• You'd forget your head if it wasn't attached to your shoulders!
• A little soap and water never killed anybody.
• Bored! How can you be bored? I was never bored at your age.
• Close the door! You don't live in a barn.
• You should have that phone surgically implanted in your ear.
• Do you live to annoy me?
• If wishes were horses...
• Well, I haven't figured out how to cook "cold" yet.

Picky Mom

• I said CLOSE the door, I did not say SLAM it.
• I'll treat you like an adult when you start acting like one.
• Don't pick your nose in public.
• Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been.
• Don't use that tone with me!
• Don't walk away when I'm talking to you!
• Don't you have anything better to do?
• Are you going out dressed like that?
• Don't run with a lollipop in your mouth.
• I don't know is NOT an answer.
• If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
• Look at me when I'm talking to you.
• Now, come back downstairs and go back up WITHOUT stomping your feet!
• Now, say you're sorry...and MEAN it!
• Say please.
• Turn that racket down!
• Watch your mouth!
• What kind of a grade is that? You could do much better!
• You can go out to play...after you brush your teeth and comb your hair.
• You can go out to play...after you pick up your room.
• You can go out to play...after you've done your homework.
• You just ate an hour ago!
• I don't care what "everyone" is doing. I care what YOU are doing!
• Pick up your feet.

Suspicious Mom

• How do you know you don't like it if you haven't tasted it?
• Do you think this is a hotel? You can't just come here only to sleep.
• I can't believe you can sleep in this filth!
• I can't believe you did that!
• If you don't do it NOW, then when are you going to do it?
• It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I don't trust everyone else.
• Little pitchers have big ears.
• What, are you kidding?
• When will you be back?
• Where do YOU think you're going?
• Who are you going with? Do I know them?
• Who taught you THAT? You didn't learn that in this house!
• You can't judge a book by its cover.
• You have an answer for everything, don't you?
• Are you lying to me?

Threatening Mom

• Do not make that face or it will freeze in that position.
• Don't eat that, you'll get worms!
• Don't go out with a wet head, you'll catch cold.
• Don't EVER let me catch you doing that again!
• Don't pick that scab, it'll get infected.
• Be careful or you will put your eye out.
• I brought you into this world, and I can take you right back out!
• If I catch you doing that one more time, I'll...
• If it were a snake, it would have bitten you.
• If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.
• Don't sit too close to the television, it'll ruin your eyes.
• If you don't clean your plate, you won't get any dessert.
• If you stick your tongue out again it will fall off.
• If you don't stop crying, I'm going to give you something to cry about!
• If you’re bored, I can always find something for you to do.
• Never try on anyone else's glasses or you'll go blind.
• One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!
• Only if you eat all your vegetables
• Over my dead body!
• Running away? Don't let the door hit you in the rear.
• Running away? I'll help you pack.
• Running away? Is that a threat or a promise?
• Say that again and I'll wash your mouth out with soap.
• Shut your mouth and eat your supper.
• You are going to get it when you get home!
• You had better wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you.
• Your father is going to hear about this when HE gets home!
• As long as you live under my roof, you'll do as I say.
• I'm doing this for your own good.
• Some day you will thank me for this. SMACK!!
• You WILL eat it, and you WILL like it!
• You are getting on my last nerve.
• I'm going to skin you alive!
• I've had it up to here with you.
• Answer me when I ask you a question!
• Leave your sister (brother) alone!