• You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you. You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag.
• Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.
• You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or street. All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.
• You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.
• You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.
• If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9", it is presumed his Mother had an affair.
• There are more than 28 people in your bridal party.
• You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.

And you REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when:

• Your grandfather had a fig tree.
• You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.
• Christmas Eve . . . only fish.
• Your mom's meatballs are the best.
• You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.
• Plastic on the furniture is normal.
• You know how to pronounce "manicotti" and "mozzarella."
• You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or "gravy."
• You've called someone a "mamaluke."
• And you understand "bada bing."

And last but not least ... Do you know why most men from Italy are named Tony? On the boat over to America they put a sticker on them that said TO: NY.

Submitted by our very own Michelle

• Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them
• Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
• Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.
• Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.
• Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.
• Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.
• Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
• Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
• Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
• Remote Control -- Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider this --it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

It was one of the hottest days of the dry season. We had not seen rain in almost a month. The crops were dying. Cows had stopped giving milk. The creeks and streams were long gone back into the earth. It was a dry season that would bankrupt several farmers before it was through.

Every day, my husband and his brothers would go about the arduous process of trying to get water to the fields. Lately this process had involved taking a truck to the local water rendering plant and filling it up with water. But severe rationing had cut everyone off. If we didn't see some rain soon...we would lose everything.

It was on this day that I learned the true lesson of sharing and witnessed the only miracle I have seen with my own eyes. I was in the kitchen making lunch for my husband and his brothers when I saw my six-year-old son, Billy, walking toward the woods. He wasn't walking with the usual carefree abandon of a youth but with a serious purpose. I could only see his back.

He was obviously walking with a great effort ... trying to be as still as possible. Minutes after he disappeared into the woods, he came running out again toward the house. I went back to making sandwiches; thinking that whatever task he had been doing was completed.

Moments later, however, he was once again walking in that slow purposeful stride toward the woods. This activity went on for an hour. He would walk carefully to the woods, then run back to the house. Finally I couldn't take it any longer, and I crept out of the house and followed him on his journey (being very careful not to be seen...as he was obviously doing important work and didn't need his Mommy checking up on him).

He was cupping both hands in front of him as he walked, being very careful not to spill the water he held in them ... maybe two or three tablespoons were held in his tiny hands. I sneaked close as he went into the woods.

Branches and thorns slapped his little face, but he did not try to avoid them. He had a much higher purpose.

As I leaned in to spy on him, I saw the most amazing site. Several large deer loomed in front of him. Billy walked right up to them. I almost screamed for him to get away. A huge buck with elaborate antlers was dangerously close. But the buck did not threaten him...he didn't even move as Billy knelt down. And I saw a tiny fawn laying on the ground, obviously suffering from dehydration and heat exhaustion, lift its head with great effort to lap up the water cupped in my beautiful boy's hand.

When the water was gone, Billy jumped up to run back to the house and I hid behind a tree. I followed him back to the house to a spigot to which we had shut off the water. Billy opened it all the way up and a small trickle began to creep out. He knelt there, letting the drip, drip slowly fill up his makeshift "cup," as the sun beat down on his little back.

And it came clear to me: The trouble he had gotten into for playing with the hose the week before. The lecture he had received about the importance of not wasting water. The reason he didn't ask me to help him.

It took almost twenty minutes for the drops to fill his hands. When he stood up and began the trek back, I was there in front of him. His little eyes just filled with tears. "I'm not wasting," was all he said.

As he began his walk, I joined him...with a small pot of water from the kitchen. I let him tend to the fawn. I stayed away. It was his job. I stood on the edge of the woods watching the most beautiful heart I have ever known working so hard to save another life. As the tears that rolled down my face began to hit the ground, they were suddenly joined by other drops...and more drops...and more. I looked up at the sky. It was as if God, himself, was weeping with pride.

Some will probably say that this was all just a huge coincidence. That miracles don't really exist. That it was bound to rain sometime. And I can't argue with that... I'm not going to try. All I can say is that the rain that came that day saved our farm...just like the actions of one little boy saved another.

I don't know if anyone will read this...but I had to send it out. To honor the memory of my beautiful Billy, who was taken from me much too soon...

But not before showing me the true face of God, in a little, sunburned body.