The Official Canadian
Temperature Conversion Chart
- 50° Fahrenheit (10° C): Californians
shiver uncontrollably - Canadians plant gardens.
- 35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C): Italian Cars
won't start - Canadians drive with the windows down
- 32° Fahrenheit (0 ° C): American
water freezes - Canadian water gets thicker.
- 0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C): New York
City landlords finally turn on the heat - Canadians have the
last cookout of the season.
- -60° Fahrenheit (-51° C): Mt.St.
Helens freezes - Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies
door-to-door.
- -100° Fahrenheit (-73° C): Santa
Claus abandons the North Pole - Canadians pull down their ear
flaps.
- -173° Fahrenheit (-114° C): Ethyl
alcohol Freezes - Canadians get frustrated when they can't
thaw the keg.
- -460° Fahrenheit (-273° C): Absolute
zero; all atomic motion stops - Canadians start saying "cold,
eh?"
Submitted by Mike,
Broomfield, Co.
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List of Ethnic Jokes,
My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
What is a Grandmother?
(Written by a 3rd grader at St. Andrews School, Washington, D.
C.) A grandmother is a lady who
has no little children of her own. She likes other people's. A
grandfather is a man grandmother.
Grandmothers don't have to do anything
except be there. They are old, so they shouldn't play hard or
run. It is enough if they drive us to the market and have lots
of dimes ready. When they take us for walks, they slow down past
things like pretty leaves and caterpillars. They never say
"hurry up."
Usually grandmothers are fat, but not
too fat to tie your shoes. They wear glasses and funny
underwear. They can take their teeth out.
Grandmothers don't have to be smart.
They only have to answer questions like, "Why isn't God
married?" and "How come dogs chase cats?"
When they read to us, they don't skip
lines or mind if we ask for the same story over again.
Everyone should try to have a
grandmother, especially if you don't have a TV, because they are
the only grown-ups who have TIME.
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List of Cute Kids
Sayings, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
More Headline Stories for the Year 2035
- White minorities still
trying to have English recognized as California's third
language.
- Authentic year 2000 "chad"
sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.
- Postal Service raises price
of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to
Wednesday only.
- Massachusetts executes last
remaining conservative.
- Supreme Court rules
punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
- Upcoming NFL draft likely to
focus on use of mutants.
- Congress authorizes direct
deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign
accounts.
- Capitol Hill intern indicted
for refusing to have sex with Congressman.
- IRS sets lowest tax rate at
75%.
More Headline Stories for the Year 2035
Submitted by
Bill, Narberth, Pa.
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List
of Humorous Sayings, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
A guy goes to the doctor
and the doctor tells him ... "I have some very bad news for you
...
... I'm afraid that you're afflicted
with a fatal and incurable disease."
So the guy asks, "Well isn't there
ANYTHING I can do, doc?"
"Hmmm.... maybe you should go to a spa
and start taking daily mud baths." The doctor tells the patient.
"Mud baths? Will that help me, doc?"
"Probably not.... But at least you'll
get used to being covered in dirt!"
Submitted by Jamie, Crofton,
Md.
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, Groaner Joke List,
My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
Nov 22 Humor Page
|
|