Today's gospel reading is one of my favorites because it's one I can relate to on a personal level, and I think it's one that most Christians can identify with at some point along their Christian walk.

Back when I was 14, I had completed my two years of confirmation classes. During the last class my pastor told each of the confirmands that if we had any questions before confirmation Sunday, or any reservations about professing our faith, we needed to make and appointment to see him.

Well my friend Allen and I were struggling with believing without absolute proof. We sat through all the classes attended church every Sunday, including Sunday school, but still had this need to have all that we were taught proven to us. So we went to see our pastor. When we arrived at his office we told him what we were struggling with and we told him we needed tangible proof of Jesus, his miracles, and his resurrection.

We were there for about an hour and I don't remember all that was said by our pastor in response to our questions except that we needed to have faith. When we were finished he asked us both to let him know if we wanted to go through the confirmation service, and he assured us it was ok if we weren't ready.

Well after thinking about it I decided to go forward with confirmation and my friend did not. I'm not sure I had an ah-ha moment or mountain-top experience, I think I went forward with confirmation because I didn't want to disappoint anyone.

However, I did over time move beyond my doubt and uncertainty; to have complete faith in the Bible and in all I had been taught. This was possible because I didn't give up on wanting to understand better the Christian faith.

I'm not sure what happened to Allen. I do know that once he decided not to be confirmed I didn't see him at church very often anymore.

The Gospel of John presents us with three post-resurrection stories that range from Easter morning's appearance to Mary Magdalene in the garden, to the two appearances in today's scripture reading.

Jesus appears to his frightened disciples, all of them but Thomas at the first encounter, and then commissions them by giving them the Holy Spirit. Then Thomas shows up sometime later, and there is a dialog between Jesus and Thomas about faith and doubt.

Jesus invites Thomas to touch his wounds. And Thomas is moved to a confession of faith and says, "My Lord and my God!" Thomas met the risen Christ and that encounter has given him what he needed to believe.

In verse 29, the final verse of the episode, does Jesus rebuke Thomas for his disbelief? This is the conventional "doubting Thomas" interpretation. But this interpretation really is inadequate.

Thomas has come to belief in his own way. And his way is by sight and touch, and is not necessarily condemned by Jesus. Some come to belief through hearing, some through seeing, and some through different types of experiences.

All of us, in a sense, come to Jesus through hearing rather than through seeing. All of us believe on the basis of reports of the apostles writings, like the Gospel of John. And yet some of us, perhaps many of us, also believe on the basis of encounter, sight, and touch.

The issue with Thomas isn't that he has less faith than the other disciples, you see they saw Jesus first and believed, who knows how many others may have reacted the way Thomas did if they weren't present when Jesus first appeared to them.

It's not that Thomas is a lesser person for needing to see and touch. God doesn't care what it takes to get us to believe and to have faith beyond doubt. God only cares that we get to the point in our lives where faith replaces doubt. And the desire to grow in faith replaces spiritual-complacency. So what does it take, in these post-Easter days, for a person to believe or have faith?

Well there's a story of a woman who had a daughter who was active in the church youth group. She, perhaps out of gratitude for what the church was doing for her daughter, asked if she could help with the church's financial records. She was an accountant by profession.

She spent hours working for the church. But she never attended Sunday morning worship. The pastor asked her about this and she stated, "I'm just not very good at that sort of thing. I can't see the point of it. Other people seem to enjoy the music, the sermon, and all the rest, but I confess that I just don't get it. I'm not good at religion."

There are also people who avoid church because they're angry at some social stand that a given denomination or independent church has taken. Or they don't like some of the people attending worship, or they don't like being asked to serve in some way.

But when I speak of people who geniunely struggle with belief, I'm not talking about these folks. I'm speaking about the folks that seem to struggle to believe, those people for whatever reason spiritual matters don't come naturally. It's a struggle for them to believe. They may want to but just can't get over the faith hurdle.

They hear the stirring testimonies of others whose lives have been touched in some dramatic way by God, but they listen as outsiders, as those who don't have the foggiest idea of what people are talking about.

Just last Sunday we heard read the story of Jesus being raised from the dead. But how many people when hearing this story, rather than hearing the story and responding, "Wow thank you God," are more inclined to say, "Are you kidding? We're supposed to believe this?"

Now I know some of us here have perhaps never doubted the veracity of the account of the empty tomb. And if you are one of these folks than it's easy for you to stand and shout, "Christ is risen! He is risen indeed!" And that's great.

But what about those folks who aren't good at spiritual matters, not good at believing? I think today's gospel reading is for them, as it was for me over 30 years ago.

Last Sunday's gospel was about the women who went to the tomb, found it was empty, were told by an angel that Jesus had risen and raced back to Jerusalem to tell the joyous news. They heard and they believed. And if that's how it is for you, fine.

They believed based on a second hand report. They believed what they heard.

But today's story is for the rest of the folks who still have doubts. The disciples told Thomas that Jesus had been raised. They told Thomas that the risen Christ had appeared before the gathered disciples. But Thomas wasn't there, so he struggled with what they told him.

Now we don't know where Thomas was, all we know is he wasn't with the other disciples when Jesus appeared to them. And because he didn't see the risen Christ for himself, because he had only heard but had not seen him, he didn't believe. And that's what he said to them, "Unless, I can see and touch for myself, I won't believe."

And Jesus said to him, "Touch. Thrust you hands into my scars." Now Jesus wasn't rebuking Thomas for his doubt or lack of faith. Rather, he was giving Thomas the proof that he needed.

Jesus didn't say to Thomas, "Now close your eyes and try to believe real hard." He didn't say, "Thomas, if you would just have more faith, be more like the other disciples, you wouldn't have a problem." No, Jesus gave Thomas the tangible proof he needed, out of love, not frustration.

I don't know about you, but I'm grateful for tangible proof. There are those who hear the historical reports of the gospels and despite the 2000 year space between our time and their time, they hear and believe.

There are people who need something else. The stories of the gospels are fine, but they need more than words. They need to touch, see, or smell.

For these people, the good news is that, Jesus gives them what they and the rest of us need. Touch, see and believe, Jesus says. For you I have provided the church.

There are those who say, "Christianity is a wonderful spiritual ideal." But who really gets worked up over a spiritual ideal?

We need the church, a place, a congregation, a building, a tent, somewhere to go and know that God will tangibly and visibly be there. Sure we believe that God can be found anywhere at anyplace, but often times we need someplace special to go, a place where we can experience the real presence of Christ.

If you want to learn to be a martial artist you have to go to classes and practice, not just watch Steven Segal movies. If you want to make pottery you have to get your hands dirty with clay, not just look at finished pottery in the store.

Well if you want to develop a faith that goes beyond doubt then you have to go to church where opportunities are offered to facilitate your growth process. In church: " We experience Christ through touch when we greet one another at the beginning and end of worship. " We experience Christ by hearing and seeing when we worship, sing, and pray. " We experience Christ when we hear testimonies of healing and other miracles. " We experience Christ on a more spiritual level when we open our heats to the scripture being read and proclaimed through the sermon. " We experience Christ when we give of ourselves and our monetary gifts for the ministry of his church. " We experience Christ when we see the gospel story in stained glass, pictures, and banners. " And we experience Christ when we smell and taste the Lord's Supper.

Thank goodness Jesus is more than some noble idea, or spiritual concept. He meets us where we are, in the stuff of ordinary life. We, with all our doubts, questions, and hesitations can come to Christ's church and taste, touch, hear, see, and believe once again, knowing as he ministered to Thomas, Jesus ministers to us.

Some Christians fear they are the only believers who wrestle with doubts. Consequently they build façades of spiritual confidence, but in reality feel like fakes. Fortunately, God understands such frustration and has provided stories of similar struggles to help us in the midst of our doubts.

One of my favorites comes from a man that you know I greatly respect, John Wesley. Many of you have heard of Wesley's conversion at Aldersgate when he wrote of his experience as one in which his heart was "strangely warmed," after he had previously taken a mission trip to America, only to discover he was not a minister but a lost soul. Most of the time the story ends at Aldersgate as if he lived "happily ever after."

But less than a year later Wesley wrote in his journal, "I know that I am not a Christian. I know it because I don't feel that I love God and his Son Jesus Christ as my Savior."

Then of course later Wesley would lead England in a great spiritual awakening that sparked revival here in the United States as well. Then in 1784 he established the formal beginnings of the Methodist denomination.

The point is even great men and women of God have doubts. The key is, what we do with these doubts will dictate whether or not our faith is strengthened or weakened. (* All Things Are Possible through Prayer, Charles Allen, 1958, p. 48)

Getting to a place where our faith moves beyond doubt is often times a process, it takes intentionality and time, it takes being with other Christians, and making worship, fellowship, study, serving and sharing part of our daily lives.

This is why church is so important to us. We all need to meet together on a regular basis to praise God. When we come together in praise and worship, something special and powerful happens.

The Holy Spirit shows up and binds us together in love and strength. We can bask in God's glory and grow together in faith. We become stronger and God's purpose for us becomes clearer. We are his Church!

So I encourage you to explore your faith and your doubts. Seek God to better understand his purpose and plans for you, seek the risen Christ to be better understand what it means to live as a disciple, and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you in realizing a strong faith that over time transcends all doubt.

Amen.