|Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech Support: Are you sure your keyboard is plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech Support: Pick up your keyboard and take ten steps backwards.
Tech Support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Tech Support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Wait a moment please. . . . . . . Ah, that one does work.
Tech Support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter 'V' as in Victor, and the number '7'.
Customer: Is that '7' in capital letters?
Customer: I can't get on the internet.
Tech Support: Are you absolutely sure you used the correct password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my co-worker do it.
Tech Support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.
Tech Support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Tech Support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry . . . Internet Explorer.
Customer: I have a huge problem! My friend has placed a screen saver on my computer .. . . but, every time I move my mouse, it disappears.
Tech Support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech Support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it.
A woman customer called the Canon help desk because she had a problem with her printer.
Tech Support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting next to me is by a window, and his printer is working fine!
Tech Support: Okay Bob, press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now, type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.
Customer: I don't have a 'P'.
Tech Support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean ?
Tech Support: 'P' .. . . on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I AM NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!!
Submitted by Former Emmitsburg Mayor Ed!