Humor Selections for Oct 13th, 2010

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Mary Poppins was travelling home, but due to worsening weather...

..., she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night.

"Certainly madam," he replied courteously.

"Is the restaurant open still?" inquired Mary.

"Sorry, no," came the reply, "but room service is available all night.

Would you care to select something from this menu?"

Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it. "Hmm, I would like cauliflower cheese please," said Mary.

"Certainly, madam," he replied.

"And can I have breakfast in bed?" asked Mary politely.

The receptionist nodded and smiled.

"In that case, I would love a couple of poached eggs, please," Mary mused.

After confirming the order, Mary signed in and went up to her room for the night.

The night passed uneventfully and the next morning Mary came down early to check out. The same guy was still on the desk.

"Morning madam...sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you," Mary replied.

"Food to your liking?"

"Well, I have to say the cauliflower cheese was exceptional, I don't think I have had better. Shame about the eggs, though....they really weren't that nice at all," replied Mary truthfully.

"Oh...well, perhaps you could contribute these thoughts to our Guest Comments Book. We are always looking to improve our service and would value your opinion," said the receptionist.

"OK, I will...thanks!" replied Mary....who checked out, then scribbled a comment into the book. Waving, she left to continue her journey.

Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment Mary had written.


Submitted by Bill, john, Waynesboro, Pa.

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An English Clergyman turned to a Scotsman ...

...and asked: "What would you be if you were not Scot?"

The Scotsman said: "Why, an Englishman, of course!"

Then the clergyman turned to a gentleman from Ireland and asked him: "And what would you be were you not an Irishman?"

The man thought a moment and said: "I'd be ashamed of myself!"

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Original Thoughts by Tim
  • You know how boys and their toys are... if they have to rely on a mechanic to do the job right, well... it's like being told to turn your head and cough.
  • I feel like I'm breaking the rules when I pull up to the "Pick Up" window while sitting behind the wheel of a sedan.
  • I can't help but nervously keep looking in my rear view mirror when I'm at a drive-thru ATM and see Braille on the keypads.
  • Ignorance and arrogance have subtle differences ... an ignorant person usually has no clue, whereas an arrogant person has no clue with an alarming degree of confidence.
  • I'm comfortable with my religious beliefs, but am having difficulty to "Go Tell it on the Mountain" due to geographical issues.
  • Life is mandatory ... enthusiasm is an option.
  • This economy is so bad ... I'm just waiting for my happy place to go into foreclosure.
  • Objectively, I don't beg to differ ... I insist on it.
  • I don't think I'd care to be a kid and eat at McDonald's these days ... the last Happy Meal I saw looked like it was in a bad mood.
  • I feel a little nauseas eating chicken breasts at KFC ... after I find part of my purchase is being donated for breast cancer research.
  • I borrowed a bagel ... it was a Lender's.
  • Realistically.. when nature calls, I don't envision a soft beckoning voice in a sunny meadow filled with butterflies .. it's more like a frantic Tarzan yell.
  • The actions of an idiot are usually more acceptable than the reactions from someone who knows better.
  • There must be a lot of Italians who have mothers named "Mia".
  • Thinking Outside the Box is a bit futile if you're sitting in one.
  • It would be thoughtless of me not to perceive things with an open mind.
  • I really feel uncomfortable buying ground chuck from a butcher named Charles... especially if he's wearing prosthetics.

Submitted by Tim, West Branch, Michigan

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Family Feud Contestant - Download Video

Submitted by Kenneth, Shropshire, England

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Formerly-- the Sears Tower

Not content with having the tallest building in America , the owners of Willis Tower in Chicago have installed four glass box viewing platforms which stick out of the building 103 floors up.

The balconies are suspended 1,353 feet in the air and jut out four feet from the building's Skydeck.They are 4x10x10, made of solid glass, floor included...

Visitors get their first view from The Ledge -- four glass balconies suspended from the Tower.

Designers say the platforms - collectively dubbed The Ledge - have been purposely created to make visitors feel as they are floating above the city. The reward is unobstructed views of Chicago from the building's west side and a heart-stopping (well, duh!) vista of the street and Chicago River below - for those brave enough to look straight down (not me!). It's like walking on ice.

John Huston, one of the owners of the Willis Tower, even admitted to getting 'a little queasy' when he ventured out on to the balcony. However, after 30 or 40 trips, he seems to have gotten used to it.

Long way up: Even the floor of the platforms are glass - few are brave enough to look straight down. Although some adults felt dizzy after experiencing The Ledge, children seemed to take it in their stride.

Thrill seekers: The boxes jut out four feet from the building and were specifically designed to attract visitors. The Willis Tower has always been about superlatives - tallest, largest, most iconic.

The Ledge is the world's most awesome view, the world's most precipitous view, the view with the most wow in the world. The balconies are 10ft high and 10ft wide, can hold five tons, and have glass which is 1.5 inch thick.

Inspiration came from the hundreds of forehead prints visitors left behind on The Skydeck windows every week. Now, staff have a new glass surface to clean: floors!

Architect Ross Wimer said: 'We did studies that showed a 4' X 4' deep enclosure makes you feel like you're detached from the building particularly since there's only room for one row of people.'

The Ledge is accessible from The Skydeck which attracts 25,000 visitors on clear days. They each pay $15 to take an elevator ride up to the 103rd floor of the 110-story office building that opened in 1973.

Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, Md.

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