Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway.
But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up
at an alarming rate. The
traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run
over at a rate of three to six a day.
So one day Farmer John called the
sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about all
of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens."
"What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff. "I don't care,
just do something about those crazy drivers!" So the next day he
had the county workers go out and erected a sign that said: SLOW:
Three days later Farmer John called the
sheriff and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers.
The 'school crossing' sign seems to make them go even faster." So,
again, the sheriff sends out the county workers and they put up a
new sign: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY
That really sped them up. So Farmer John
called and called and called every day for three weeks. Finally,
he asked the sheriff, "Your signs are doing no good. Can I put up
my own sign?" The sheriff told him, "Sure thing, put up your own
sign." He was going to let the Farmer John do just about anything
in order to get him to stop calling everyday to complain. The
sheriff got no more calls from Farmer John. Three weeks later,
curiosity go the best of the sheriff and he decided to give Farmer
John a call. "How's the problem with those drivers. Did you put up
your sign?" "Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed
since then. I've got to go. I'm very busy." He hung up the phone.
The sheriff was really curious now and he thought to himself, "I'd
better go out there and take a look at that sign... it might be
something that WE could use to slow down drivers..."
So the sheriff drove out to Farmer John's
house, and his jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign. It was
spray-painted on a sheet of wood: NUDIST COLONY: GO SLOW AND WATCH
OUT FOR THE CHICKS!
Submitted by Debbie, Middletown, Md.
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of Page, Clean Joke List,
A French teacher was
explaining that in French nouns are designated as either masculine
feminine - "la maison."
"Pencil" is masculine - "le crayon."
A student asked, "What gender is
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher
split the class into two groups -male and female - and asked them
to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine
or a feminine noun.
Each group was asked to give four reasons
for their recommendation.
The men's group decided that "computer"
should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"),
No one but their creator understands their
internal logic; The native language they use to communicate with
other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else; Even the
smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible
later review; and as soon as you make a commitment to one, you
find yourself spending half your salary on accessories for it.
The women's group, however, concluded that
computers should be masculine ("le computer") because:
In order to do anything with them, you
have to turn them on; They have a lot of data but still can't
think for themselves; They are supposed to help you solve
problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and as soon as
you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little
longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won
Submitted by Kate, Columbia,
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of Page, Computer Joke List,
An older lady was somewhat lonely
and decided she needed a pet to keep her company.
So off to the pet shop she
went. She searched and searched. Nothing seemed to catch her
interest, except this ugly frog. As she walked by the jar he
was in, she looked and he winked at her and whispered , "Iím
lonely too, buy me and you wont be sorry."
The old lady figured .... what the heck,
she hadnít found anything else. She bought the frog and put
him in the car. Driving down the road the frog whispered to her
"kiss me and you wont be sorry"
So the old lady figured What the heck, and
kissed the frog. Immediately the frog turned into an absolutely
gorgeous young handsome prince. The prince then kissed the
old lady back ... and guess what the old lady turned into?
Come on Guess!!!
She turned into the first motel she could
find ... She's old ... not dead!!!!!
Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, Md.
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