Humor Additions for Friday, August 20th


    My Little Sister's Jokes > Recent Addition List 

New jokes posted on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Happily maintained  by the Community of Emmitsburg, MD.

Help us build our joke and story bank.
E-mail us at: humor@emmitsburg.net


 
Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway.

But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day.

So one day Farmer John called the sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens." "What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff. "I don't care, just do something about those crazy drivers!" So the next day he had the county workers go out and erected a sign that said: SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING

Three days later Farmer John called the sheriff and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The 'school crossing' sign seems to make them go even faster." So, again, the sheriff sends out the county workers and they put up a new sign: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY

That really sped them up. So Farmer John called and called and called every day for three weeks. Finally, he asked the sheriff, "Your signs are doing no good. Can I put up my own sign?" The sheriff told him, "Sure thing, put up your own sign." He was going to let the Farmer John do just about anything in order to get him to stop calling everyday to complain. The sheriff got no more calls from Farmer John. Three weeks later, curiosity go the best of the sheriff and he decided to give Farmer John a call. "How's the problem with those drivers. Did you put up your sign?" "Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed since then. I've got to go. I'm very busy." He hung up the phone. The sheriff was really curious now and he thought to himself, "I'd better go out there and take a look at that sign... it might be something that WE could use to slow down drivers..."

So the sheriff drove out to Farmer John's house, and his jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign. It was spray-painted on a sheet of wood: NUDIST COLONY: GO SLOW AND WATCH OUT FOR THE CHICKS!

Submitted by Debbie, Middletown, Md.

Return to: Top of Page, Clean Joke List, My Little Sister's Jokes,


A French teacher was explaining that in French nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine...

"House" is feminine - "la maison."

"Pencil" is masculine - "le crayon."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups -male and female - and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:

No one but their creator understands their internal logic; The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else; Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review; and as soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your salary on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer") because:

In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on; They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves; They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and as soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won

Submitted by Kate, Columbia, Md.

Return to: Top of Page, Computer Joke List, My Little Sister's Jokes,


An older lady was somewhat lonely and decided she needed a pet to keep her company.

So off to the pet shop she went. She searched and searched. Nothing seemed to catch her interest, except this ugly frog.  As she walked by the jar he was in, she looked and he winked at her and whispered , "Iím lonely too, buy me and you wont be sorry."

The old lady figured .... what the heck, she hadnít found anything else.  She bought the frog and put him in the car. Driving down the road the frog whispered to her "kiss me and you wont be sorry"

So the old lady figured What the heck, and kissed the frog. Immediately the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous young handsome prince.  The prince then kissed the old lady back ... and guess what the old lady turned into?

Come on Guess!!!

She turned into the first motel she could find ... She's old ... not dead!!!!!

Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, Md.
 

Return to: Top of Page, List of Jokes About Aging, My Little Sister's Jokes ,


This years top cute pet pictures


August 20th Humor Page