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| A physician, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist were arguing... ... about what was the oldest profession in the world.
The physician remarked, "Well, in the Bible, it says that God created Eve from a rib taken out of Adam. This clearly required surgery, and so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world."
The civil engineer interrupted, and said, "But even earlier in the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the first and certainly the most spectacular application of civil engineering. Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong: mine is the oldest
profession in the world."
The computer scientist leaned back in her chair, smiled, and then said confidently, "Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?" ..
Submitted by Kenneth, Shropshire, England
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Will Rogers on Growing Older...
- Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
- The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
- Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
- When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
- You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
- I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
- One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
- One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
- Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
- Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.
- If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
Submitted by Bill, Ardmore, Pa.
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| A salesman dropped in to see a business customer.
Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him.
The dog looked up and said, "Don't be surprised. This is just part of my job."
"Incredible!" exclaimed the man. "I can't believe it. Does your boss know what a prize he has in you? An animal that can talk!"
"No, no," pleaded the dog. "Please don't! If that man finds out I can talk, he make me answer the phone as well."
Submitted by Larry, Frederick, Md.
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Inspirational Office Slogans
- If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.
- The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
- Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent.
- If you think we're a bad firm, you should see our rivals!
- Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings - they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
- A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.
- Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here.
- We make great money! We have great benefits! We do no work! We are union members!
- Two days without a Human Rights Violation!
- If at first you don't succeed - try management.
- It's only unethical if you get caught.
Submitted by Kenneth, Shropshire, England
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It's a sunny morning in the big forest and the Bear family is just waking up.
Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks.
Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars.
Mommy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and screams, "For Heaven's sake, how many times do we have to go through this? I haven't made the darn porridge yet!"
Submitted by John, Emmitsburg, Md.
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Watch out for this scam!!!
Police say that the gang usually is comprised of four members, one adult and three younger ones.
While the three younger ones, appearing innocent divert their "mark" (or intended target) with a show of friendliness, the fourth -- the eldest -- sneaks in from behind the person's back to expertly rifle through his or her pocket or purse for any valuables. Be on the alert!! Below is a photo from a
recent attack that was captured on film
![[]](../../../pictures/2009/image00137.jpg)
Submitted by Audrey, Emmitsburg, Md.
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May 8th Humor Page
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