Humor Selections for October 6th, 2008


     My Little Sister's Jokes > Recent Addition List

New jokes posted on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Happily maintained  by the Community of Emmitsburg, MD.

Help us build our joke and story bank.
E-mail us at: humor@emmitsburg.net


 
After Quasimodoís death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame...

... sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process.

After observing while several applicants demonstrated their skills, he decided to call it a day. Just then a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringerís job.

The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!"

"No matter," said the man, "observe!" He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon.

The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, while rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.

The stunned bishop immediately rushed down the stairways. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, "Bishop, who was this man?"

"I donít know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "But his face sure rings a bell."

Submitted by Kenneth, Shropshire, England
 

Return to: Top of Page, Groaner Joke List, My Little Sister's Jokes,


Notes About Wisconsin
  • Everybody in the state has a boat attached to their car.
  • All of their cheese is imported from Michigan.
  • Everyone drives at a frantic pace to get toward that little restful spot in the middle of a lake to fish.
  • Nobody keeps the fish they catch unless it is in some sort of competition.
  • By the looks of the sides of many of the roads, deer hunting season is all year round, half killed by gun and half by pickup.
  • There are so many water parks near the Dells, the rivers have run out of water for the Ducks.
  • Everything happens at the Illinois/Wisconsin border: The Cheese shops, the Fishing license bureaus, the fireworks and adult shops and the state cops looking for foreign license plates so they can get good booty.
  • There are hundreds of construction sites on the roads, but nobody seems to be working them by day. Maybe itís too hot then and itís done at night?
  • All of the travelers in Wisconsin who come from Minnesota want to get to Illinois. All of the Illinois travelers who are in Wisconsin want to get to Minnesota. The Wisconsin travelers talk about going somewhere, but always manage to stay home.
  •  Its a great vacation spot, Wisconsin, that is. Too bad itís open only a couple of warm months out of the year. Do they really need another outdoor water park?

Submitted by Bruce, Carol Stream, Illinois
 

Return to: Top of Page, List of You Know You're From, My Little Sister's Jokes,


In kindergarten your idea of a good friend was...

... the person who let you have the red crayon when all that was left was the ugly black one.

  • In first grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went to the bathroom with you and held your hand as you walked through the scary halls.
  • In second grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you stand up to the class bully.
  • In third grade your idea of a good friend was the person who shared their lunch with you when you forgot yours on the bus.
  • In fourth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who was willing to switch square dancing partners in gym so you wouldn't have to be stuck do-si-do-ing with Nasty Nick or Smelly Susan.
  • In fifth grade your idea of a friend was the person who saved a seat on the back of the bus for you.
  • In sixth grade your idea of a friend was the person who went up to Nick or Susan, your new crush, and asked them to dance with you, so that if they said no you wouldn't have to be embarrassed.
  • In seventh grade your idea of a friend was the person who let you copy the social studies homework from the night before that you had.
  • In eighth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pack up your stuffed animals and old baseball but didn't laugh at you when you finished and broke out into tears.
  • In ninth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who would go to a party thrown by a senior so you wouldn't wind up being the only freshman there.
  • In tenth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who changed their schedule so you would have someone to sit with at lunch.
  • In eleventh grade your idea of a good friend was the person who gave you rides in their new car, convinced your parents that you shouldn't be grounded, consoled you when you broke up with Nick or Susan, and found you a date to the prom.
  • In twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pick out a college/university, assured you that you would get into that college/university, helped you deal with your parents who were having a hard time adjusting to the idea of letting you go...
  • At graduation your idea of a good friend was the person who was crying on the inside but managed the biggest smile one could give as they congratulated you.
  • The summer after twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you clean up the bottles from that party, helped you sneak out of the house when you just couldn't deal with your parents, assured you that now that you and Nick or you and Susan were back together, you could make it through anything, helped you pack up for university and just silently hugged you as you looked through blurry eyes at 18 years of memories you were leaving behind, and finally on those last days of childhood, went out of their way to give you reassurance that you would make it in college as well as you had these past 18 years, and most importantly sent you off to college knowing you were loved.

Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the better of the two choices, holds your hand when you're scared, helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you, thinks of you at times when you are not there, reminds you of what you have forgotten, helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer, stays with you so that you have confidence, goes out of their way to make time for you, helps you clear up your mistakes, helps you deal with pressure from others, smiles for you when they are sad, helps you become a better person, and most importantly loves you!

Submitted by Dolly, Middletown, Md.
 

Return to: Top of Page, List of Heart Warming Stories, My Little Sister's Jokes,


Prince Charles decided to take up jogging.

Every day, he'd jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner.

He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.

'One hundred and fifty pounds!' she'd shout from the curb..

'No! Five pounds!' He would fire back, just to shut her up.

This ritual between him and the hooker became a daily occurrence.

He'd run by and she'd yell, 'One hundred and fifty pounds!'

He'd yell back, 'Five pounds!'

One day, Camilla decided that she wanted to accompany her 'husband' on his jog. As the jogging couple neared the working woman's street corner, Prince Charles realized she'd bark her £150 offer and Camilla would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings.

He figured he'd better have a good explanation for his wife.

As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner, he became even more apprehensive than usual.

Sure enough, there was the hooker. He tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jog past.

Then, from her corner, the hooker yelled:

'See what you get for five pounds, you tight bastard?!'

Submitted by Kenneth, Shropshire, England
 

Return to: Top of Page, List of Un-Categorizable Jokes, My Little Sister's Jokes,


Trouble just seems to follow some people!  ... Download video1, video 2, video 3, video 4

Submitted by former Emmitsburg Mayor Ed!
 

Return to: Top of Page, List of Audio/Videos, My Little Sister's Jokes,


Being in the right place at the right time photos

...

Submitted by Bill, Ardmore, PA.
 

Return to: Top of Page, List of Photos, My Little Sister's Jokes,


Oct 3rd Humor Page