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| A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store...
... and asks, "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"
The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.
The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?" Again, the clerk doesn't answer him.
The guy asks several more times: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"
And the clerk just seems to ignore him. Finally, the guy is angry and storms off.
The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, "Why wouldn't you answer that guy's question?"
The clerk answers, "D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beaten up?!!"
Submitted by Kenneth, Shropshire, England
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Sister's Jokes,
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| Once upon a time, a young lad was born without a belly button.
In its place was a golden screw. All the doctors told his mother that there was nothing they could do. The boy never understood why it was there, but
like it or not, he was stuck with it.
All the years of growing up were real tough on him, as all who saw the screw made fun of him. He avoided ever leaving his house and thus, never made any friends.
One day, a mysterious stranger saw his belly and told him of a swami in Tibet that could get rid of the screw for him. He was thrilled. The next day he took all of his
life's savings and bought a ticket to Nepal.
After several days of climbing up steep cliffs, he came upon a giant monastery. The swami knew exactly why he had come. He was told to sleep in the highest tower of the
monastery and the following day when he awakens, the screw will have been removed.
The man immediately went to the room and fell asleep. During the night while he slept, a purple haze floated in an open window, bearing in its mist, golden screwdriver.
In just moments, the screw-driver removed the screw and disappeared out the window.
The next morning when the boy woke, he saw the golden screw lying on the pillow next to him. Reaching down, he felt his navel, and there was no screw there!
Jubilant, he leaped out of bed, and his butt fell off.
The moral to this is:
"Don't screw around with things you don't understand ... you could lose your ass.
Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, MD.
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| Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground.
One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?"
"Yeah," says the other cowboy.
"Look," says the first one, "he’s listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."
Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon."
"Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the
wagon. Amazing!"
The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."
Submitted by Paul, Oklahoma City, OK
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| After returning home from his honeymoon ... ... the husband notices a photo of a man on
his new wife's bedside table. At first, he really didn't give it much thought; she had never mentioned it so why should he. But after a month or so he begins to stress about it. It was causing
him so much anxiety that he finally decides ask about it.
"Is this your ex-husband?" he nervously asks.
"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.
"Another boyfriend, then?" he continues.
"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.
"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
"No, no, no!!!" she answers. "Well, who in the heck is he, then?" he demands.
"That's me before the surgery"
Submitted by Dave, Bolder, CO
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Once again discrimination rears its ugly head
Submitted by Bill, Ardmore, Pa.
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Feb 22nd Humor Page
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