Humor Selections for June 11th, 2007


     My Little Sister's Jokes > Recent Addition List

New jokes posted on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
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When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise...

..., God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women.

I want all the women to report to St. Peter."

Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men.

The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was over 100 miles long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.

God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves, I created you to be the head of your household!

You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose!

Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him."

God turned to the one man, "How did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here."

Submitted by Dewey, Pensacola, FL
 

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Two men were hunting in the woods...

One was a fanatic who hunted as often as possible. His friend was hunting for the first time. He didnít want to hurt anything. After a couple hours, they saw deer tracks. They soon caught up with the deer. The deer was slow because it had a terrible infection in one eye. The eye was swollen closed. The hunter lifted his gun to shoot the deer. But his friend begged him to stop.

ďCanít you see thatís a bad eye deer?Ē his friend asked.

Submitted by Lindsay, Melbourne, Australia
 

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A travel agent looked up from his desk and saw an older lady and an older gentleman...

... peering into the shop window, where there were posters of glamorous destinations around the world.

The agent had had a good week, and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity. He called them into his shop.

"I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer."

He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five-star hotel. The older lady and gentleman, as could be expected, gladly accepted and were off!

About a month later, the little lady came in to the travel agency.

"And how did you like your holiday?" the agent asked eagerly.

"The flight was exciting, and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you. But, one thing puzzled me. Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?"

Submitted by Kenneth, Shropshire, England
 

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Rossi was the manager of an upscale men's wear store...

... in a wealthy section of town and was interviewing Abe for the recently advertised salesman role.

Rossi looks at Abe's resume and notices that Abe has never worked in retail before.

Rossi says to Abe, "What chutzpah, if you don't mind me saying. For someone with no retail experience, you are certainly asking for a high salary."

"Well I suppose I am," Abe replies, "but you must understand that the work is so much harder when you don't know what you're doing."

Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, Md.
 

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Numbers - Who figures out stuff like this?

Evidently people with a lot of time on their hands ...Must be a state or government employee - Download slideshow.

Submitted by Dewey, Pensacola, FL
 

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Step 1. Tie balloons to car.

Step 2. Drive like a bat out of hell...
Step 3. Watch people freak out!!!!

[]

Also submitted by Lindsay, Melbourne, Australia.
 

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