Humor Additions for July 20th 2005

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Random thought take 14
  • The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
  • Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
  • If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.
  • Seat belts are not as confining as wheel-chairs.
  • A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
  • How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
  • Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
  • Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
  • Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
  • No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
  • There are no new sins....the old ones just get more publicity.
  • There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.
  • Think about this..., No one ever says "It's only a game" when his team is winning.
  • I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
  • Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
  • The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
  • Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
  • Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
  • After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.

Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, MD.

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Sometimes, when you're feeling important,
Sometimes, when you're ego's in bloom,
Sometimes, when you take it for granted
You're the best qualified in the room -

Sometimes, when you feel that your going
Would leave an unfillable hole,
just follow this simple instruction
And see how it humbles your soul.

Take a bucket and fill it with water,
Put your hand in, up to the wrist,
Pull it out, and the hole that's remaining
Is a measure of how you'll be missed.

The moral of this quaint example
Is - just do the best that you can.
Be proud of yourself, but remember -
There's no indispensable man.

Submitted by Lindsey, Melbourne, Australia

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Pope John Paul II gets to heaven. St. Peter says, "Frankly, you're lucky to be here."

Pope says, "Why? What did I do wrong on earth?"

St. Peter says, "God was very angry with your stance on women becoming priests."

Pope says, "He's mad about THAT?"

St. Peter says, "She's furious."

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Recent changes in the mass by the new German Pope


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