Humor Additions for February 21st 2005


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Bob walks into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sits down next to this blonde at the bar...

...  and stares up at the TV. The 10:00 news was just coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building about to jump.

The blonde looks at Bob and says, "Do you think he'll jump?" Bob says, "You know, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

Bob placed $20 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 to Bob and said, "Fair is fair. Here's your money."

Bob replies, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blonde replies, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again.

Submitted by Bill, Narberth, Pa.
 

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Learn Chinese in 5 minutes...
  • That's not right: Sum Ting Wong
  • Are you harboring a fugitive?: Hu Yu Hai Ding
  • See me ASAP:  Kum Hia Nao
  • Small Horse: Tai Ni Po Ni
  • Did you go to the beach?:  Wai Yu So Tan
  • I bumped into a coffee table: Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
  • I think you need a face lift: Chin Tu Fat
  • It's very dark in here:  Wao So Dim
  • I thought you were on a diet: Wai Yu Mun Ching
  • This is a tow away zone: No Pah King
  • Our meeting is scheduled for next week: Wai Yu Kum Nao
  • Staying out of sight: Lei Ying Lo
  • He's cleaning his automobile: Wa Shing Ka
  • Your body odor is offensive: Yu Stin Ki Pu
  • Great: Fa Kin Su Pah

Submitted by Andy, Gettysburg, Pa.
 

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Humorous reflections on Marriage ...
  • You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
  • At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other women replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
  • A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted." Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
  • When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
  • Eighty percent of married men cheat in the USA The rest cheat in Canada.
  • A woman is incomplete until she is married.... Then she is finished.
  • A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
  • Young son: "Is it true Dad that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: "That happens in every country, son."
  • Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
  • You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.

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When Digital Photographers Get Bored take 8


Feb 16th Humor Page